Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
As there's more awareness of nutrition, the effects of sugary drinks and foods are more studied, and it's proved that they have negative impacts on our
health
.To save people
from these disadvantages, the price of sugary foods should be increased. I agree with this
statement as a way to have better health
, but ,however
it may generate unfairness. Two arguments Add a comma
,however
along with
examples are explained in the paragraphs below.
On the one hand, the effects of sugar on health
are so numerous, despite the fact it makes us happier, as it releases more dopamine. However
, it causes obesity, diabetes, and various critical health
problems. It could generate also
mental health
problems. For example
, as people
become more obese, they could start hating themselves and enter into depression. Here comes the importance of this
method in helping those people
to control their eating.
On the other hand
, everyone is free to choose his lifestyle, and what to eat. There are several people
who like to eat sugary foods despite their negative effects. However
, some know how to control their appetite, so increasing prices is unfair for
them. Change preposition
to
For example
, my friend doesn't like this
idea since she follows a specific lifestyle with a specific amount of sugar in it and she spends monthly the same amount of money on it, when drinks and manufactured food become expensive she can not follow the same lifestyle.
In conclusion, I reiterate that sugar is bad for health
, but there are a lot of people
who are going to be oppressed by this
increase.Submitted by mh.amani on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite