IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

As a part of their education, many students work at a company for a short period of time without a salary. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to this?

Many alumni work at a corporation for
short
Correct article usage
a short
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 time as part of their educational background without a salary. I strongly hold
this
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 view that the benefits of
this
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 action are outstanding and there are
not
Rephrase
no
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 comparable
due to
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more
Correct article usage
the more
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 experiences that they can get in a real work environment and achieving
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 job background.
Firstly
Linking Words
, students can earn more knowledge when they are working for a company
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 without a salary. In my opinion, it is so vital for them in the first years of their career to only care about learning new stuff in workplaces
instead
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 of
to
Verb problem
apply
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seeking a better income. My friend Ali
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 started his journey as a fresher
in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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Tesla in 2020. I remember at that time he just cared about learning the process of employees
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moreover
Punctuation problem
; moreover
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, he was so enthusiastic about working with Elon Musk
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 CEO of the factory.
In addition
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 to the valuable experience that students can achieve
another
Punctuation problem
, another
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 advantage which is irrefutable is the rich
background career
Correct word order
career background
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 that these folks can find after finishing these courses.
In other words
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, when
this
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 community finish the period of the not profitable
programme
Punctuation problem
programme,
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 they will
fulfil
Verb problem
have
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 a magnificent CV for themselves.
For instance
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, when my cousin had finished his courses and was working in a factory without any
income
Punctuation problem
income,
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 he received many offers from different areas with high salaries. Some may claim that students who work without receiving anything are just free human resources and they are just
exploded
Verb problem
exploited
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 by other people.
However
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,
this
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 view cannot be overlooked
due to
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 the
uncountable
Correct word choice
countless
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 benefits that
this
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 curriculum has
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; furthermore
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furthermore
Punctuation problem
furthermore,
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 they just see one part of the coin. In conclusion, alumni spend less time in some companies as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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part of their education without receiving any money. I firmly believe
this
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 action has positive effects on their life
due to
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 more experience that
can
Correct pronoun usage
they can
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find
Verb problem
gain
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 and
brighter
Correct article usage
a brighter
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 future that they can have.

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planning
Plan your essay. Make a clear plan before you write: state your view, give two or three reasons, and end with a short finish.
language
Keep ideas simple. Use only everyday words and short sentences. Check that each idea has one clear point.
content
Use real and clear examples. If you mention a name or a date, be careful to be true to facts.
content
Clear view on the topic.
structure
Uses connectors like Firstly and In addition.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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