IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbors. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this.

#people #neighbors
Nowadays, the majority part of people are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
,
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of communication, because of
this
, society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 obsessed with the Internet and mobile phones.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
 essay, will examine
man
Change noun form
man's
show examples
 causes and the possible solution
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 problem. On the one hand, the main reason is non-communication is the hectic schedule,
however
,
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
working
Wrong verb form
works
show examples
 excessive hours, and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 addicted
with
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 social media.
These circumstance
Change the determiner
This circumstance
These circumstances
show examples
 spontaneously originate from
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of time to go hang out with relatives or friends.
This
 is
due to
 the fact, to my way of thinking, if the crowd do not deal with entertainment exercises, these
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
such
 as becoming lazy, rigid, and sober.
On the other hand
, to my way of thinking, there are enough ways to avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
non-communication conditions.
First,
the
government
 should compose a number of creative and interactive games among regional people for at least a month. Because of
this
, gifts between regional occupants help to make new friends
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and supply a sense of
humor
Change the spelling
humour
show examples
 between each other.
Second,
the
government
 should hold local meetings,
like
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 everybody gives their opinion, and tell something about
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their residential area.
Furthermore
, create
consistent
Change the adjective
consistently
show examples
 include teamwork games, and quiz shows. These interactive ways are the best opportunity to take away
this
 issue among local meetings if established by the
government
. In conclusion, proposing a development
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lifestyle leads to less time to gain ample information about their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
,
on the contrary
 as I mentioned before, if the
government
 deals with organized interactive meetings,
this
 will be tremendous to build up communication among
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: