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Band 3.5

internet crime is increasing rapidly as more and more people are using internet to make financial transaction? what can be done to tackle this problem?

#internet #crime #people #transaction
world
Correct article usage
The world
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 wide web or
internet
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the internet
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 is considered to be
the
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apply
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one of
the
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apply
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mankind's greatest
invention
Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
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, these days almost everything is run through
this
 platform.every
sysyem
Correct your spelling
system
 is vulnerable no matter how secure it is,
that is
 the kind of
sutuation
Correct your spelling
situation
 everyone facing right now.
hackig
Correct your spelling
hacking
 is the greatest threat which is faced by the
internetworld
Correct your spelling
internet world
 right now.unauthorized access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 any kind of information on the
internet
 is
reffered
Correct your spelling
referred
 to as hacking.
for example
, some hackers gained access to many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
famous
celebrities
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celebrities'
celebrity's
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 social media accounts and posted all of their personal photos and details on online.
Further more
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Furthermore
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, malware attacks are
other kind
Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
show examples
 of
internet
 risk which is faced by almost all
the
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apply
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mail users. it is a process by which stealing an
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
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 personal details from his computer using malicious programs. to tackle
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
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, companies , individuals and regimes need to straighten their
internet
 security by installing sophisticated firewalls and security
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their platforms.
in
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 people need
tobe
Correct your spelling
to be
show examples
 very careful
whwn
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when
 they are surfing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
internet
 and using their personal details over the web.on
the
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apply
show examples
top of that authorities should introduce strict rules and regulations to control
internet
 crimes and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 consequences. In conclusion, cybercrimes
canbe
Correct your spelling
can be
 prevented by some strict rules and regulations
implimented
Correct your spelling
implemented
 by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and
also
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 should be more cautious
while
 using
Add an article
the website
show examples
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
.
Submitted by Veda-Princy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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