IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the 20th century, contact between many parts of the world has developed rapidly through air travel and telecommunication. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In
this
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 ,essay we are going to have a compression between the benefits and disadvantages of
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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 of telecommunication and aeroplanes that make travelling and unity the
world
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. There are many benefits and positive points about the development of
contact
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 between countries, and
people
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 of the
world
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for example
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 nowadays by developing cellular phones that are available we could easily get in
contact
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 with
people
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 who live on
anotherother
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another other
 side of the
world
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 very easily and
also
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 cheap. the same thing to air
travel
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 we see that in recent years day by day with
developmentdeveloping
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development developing
air travels the amount of tourist increased rapidly at different points in the
world
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 and there is
lot
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a lot
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 of good
impact
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Add the comma(s)
, for instance,
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for instance
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 the most important
impact
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 that it has is
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the economical
an economical
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economical
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economic
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 effect. even out the earth these days humans want to
travel
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 and it helps all human beings to know better the universe
that is
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 around us. On another hand there are a few bad things about the improvement of
people
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's
contact
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 around the
world
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for example
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 as we know right now it is much cheaper and a lot easier to
travel
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 by aeroplane to other countries than 30 years ago,
this
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 cause
the
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apply
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spreading of some dangerous disease like Covide 19 that cause deaths of millions of
people
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, hurm very badly the economics of all the
world
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 .... . As it is mentioned above one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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 that
contact
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 between the
world
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 has
improve
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improved
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 is social media,
internet
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the internet
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 and cellular phones beside good things it has
also
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 some
harmfull
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harmful
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impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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 on
socity
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society
,
for
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instance
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,instance
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 these days
people
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specially
Replace the word
especially
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young
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the young
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 generation prefer to just talk and spend
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 times with
thier
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their
frineds
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friends
 through social media that cause breaking of the warm relation
people
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 had before. As we all know everything has some good and
also
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 bad
impact
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 but
at
Change preposition
in
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 my sight of view and in my idea
Correct article usage
the benifits
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benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of
contact
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 between
people
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 through social media and
travel
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 is more than
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 disadvantages.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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