If we want to save the future of planet, we will have to drastically change our way of life. What is your opinion?

#future #planet #change #life

These days, our

planet

is too weak. If we would love to save our

planet

in the future, we will have to dramatically change our lifestyle. In

this

essay, I will explain how we can protect our

earth

. First and foremost, we must restrict personal cars.

Hence

for example

, if all individuals have a personal

car

, it is another convince for people.

However

, personal

car

's polluted air is harmful to our

planet

. If we restrict personal

car

numbers, our

planet

's shield will be broken and the sun's ultra purple light will directly come to our

earth

. We must protect our

planet

otherwise

ultra-purple light kills a lot of people. Personal

car

pollution air is harmful to the

earth

's shield. Maybe we should use public transport.

Hence

, it can deliver to many humans from A to B, and its capacity is larger than public transport. Let's talk about the second reason. It is

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

waste because day by day human waste increases.

For instance

, nowadays our world has a lot of different fabrics. Those are fabrics useful for our lifestyle.

Hence

those fabrics always produce almost all things, but it is harmful to the

out

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

external environment and we must put a limit on fabric number

To sum up

, if we would love to protect our

planet

, we must restrict the figure of personal automobile's figure and fabric's number. So, our

planet

is our home town. We must protect our world. In my view nowadays plenty of people say " when

earth

died, we move to another

planet

" , remember

this

, as the grass is not always greener on another side

Submitted by abrorjon_1995 on Wed Mar 15 2023

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Task response

Ensure that the essay directly addresses the question prompt. Support your points with relevant examples and ensure a clear introduction and conclusion.

Coherence and cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay by using clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Ensure proper use of transitions to improve coherence and cohesion.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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