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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

If we want to save the future of planet, we will have to drastically change our way of life. What is your opinion?

#future #planet #change #life
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These days, our
planet
Use synonyms
 is too weak. If we would love to save our
planet
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 in the future, we will have to dramatically change our lifestyle. In
this
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 essay, I will explain how we can protect our
earth
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. First and foremost, we must restrict personal cars.
Hence
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,
for example
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, if all individuals have a personal
car
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, it is another convince for people.
However
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, personal
car
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's polluted air is harmful to our
planet
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. If we restrict personal
car
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 numbers, our
planet
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's shield will be broken and the sun's ultra purple light will directly come to our
earth
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. We must protect our
planet
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,
otherwise
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 ultra-purple light kills a lot of people. Personal
car
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 pollution air is harmful to the
earth
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's shield. Maybe we should use public transport.
Hence
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, it can deliver to many humans from A to B, and its capacity is larger than public transport. Let's talk about the second reason. It is
human's
Change noun form
human
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 waste because day by day human waste increases.
For instance
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 , nowadays our world has a lot of different fabrics. Those are fabrics useful for our lifestyle.
Hence
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 those fabrics always produce almost all things, but it is harmful to the
out
Correct word choice
apply
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external environment and we must put a limit on fabric number
To sum up
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, if we would love to protect our
planet
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, we must restrict the figure of personal automobile's figure and fabric's number. So, our
planet
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 is our home town. We must protect our world. In my view nowadays plenty of people say " when
earth
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 died, we move to another
planet
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 " , remember
this
Linking Words
, as the grass is not always greener on another side
Submitted by abrorjon_1995 on

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Task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the question prompt. Support your points with relevant examples and ensure a clear introduction and conclusion.
Coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by using clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Ensure proper use of transitions to improve coherence and cohesion.
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