IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #interaction #people #society
There is no doubt that these days socializing has turned virtual , and everyone can connect with the world through a small device. The question is, are
people
 will replace in-person interaction with social
media
 ? In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss the views and draw my own conclusion. In terms of advantages , some
people
 believe that social
media
 has a positive effect on our lives . The main reason
given
Add the auxiliary verb
was given
show examples
 to support
this
 claim
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 social
media
 can make
people
 closer no matter how far the distances between them social
media
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
 them to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 one click. To illustrate, during Corona pandemic we had the ability to communicate via
snapchat
Change the capitalization
Snapchat
show examples
, WhatsApp and other platforms easily.
Moreover
, some
people
 consider social platforms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 useful tools .
Firstly
 , social
media
 give them a strong voice to speak their minds freely .To illustrate, many cases had shown on
twitter
Change the capitalization
Twitter
show examples
 daily and
people
 can explain themselves without any hesitation , and refuse .
Secondly
,
people
 can gain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money by using social
media
 .
Also
, social
media
 brings a lot of benefits to communities by making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication faster and easier than face-to-face interaction .
However
, experts believe that social network has a negative effect on mental health .
Also
, since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication become by texting
people
 lose the emotional bond .
Thus
,
people
 ought to utilize social
media
 wisely . In conclusion,
although
 some
people
 consider that social
media
 has a positive impact, some
people
 believe that the disadvantages over than advantages .
Therefore
, I believe that social
media
 prevent
people
 from living their lives .
Submitted by neenzhr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: