IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or services (e.g. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #product #cell #phone #services #e #g #treatment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been argued by many individuals that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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worth is an essential thing to claim related
purchasing
Change preposition
to purchasing
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 smartphones or medical treatment. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 given statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay shall shed light upon my perspective
along with
Linking Words
 a reasoned conclusion. Foremost, the fundamental cause behind my agreement is that when commoners think about price
while
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 buying items, they may save
the
Correct article usage
apply
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capital and financial security in the later stage of
life
Use synonyms
, so people should spend
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 amounts of
the
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apply
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money
Use synonyms
 on items but medical expenses
is
Change the verb form
are
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 necessary for each and everyone's
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that 65% of the public have expend rarely on electronic gadgets with the assistance of
this
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 they have protected their
further
Linking Words
life
Use synonyms
.
Hence
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, it puts
positive
Add an article
a positive
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 impact on the population.
Besides
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this
Linking Words
, human beings would become extravagant. Once humans go outside and purchase unnecessary things without
think
Change the verb form
thinking
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 about
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 rate and quality, they could become
spendthrift
Fix the agreement mistake
spendthrifts
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as well as
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 waste their cash
on
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apply
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recklessly,
whereas
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 if they think about the price
of
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apply
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before buying anything with the aid of
this
Linking Words
 they may learn
value
Add an article
the value
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 of the
money
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, it is published an article by The Tribune newspaper showed that approximately 55% of humans have knowledge
how
Change preposition
of how
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 to use
of
Change preposition
apply
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money
Use synonyms
 in their
life
Use synonyms
 as they spend funds after
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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thinking about it.
To conclude
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, it is not only
secure
Fix the infinitive
to secure
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 the
money
Use synonyms
 for their future time but
also
Linking Words
 the citizens might acquire investment of the
money
Use synonyms
 on mandatory products.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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