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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some say, that money is the root of all evil, while others claim that money can buy everything, including happiness discuss both of youse, and give your opinion

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It is often said that
money
Use synonyms
 is the root of all evil
although
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 others claim that it can buy everything
while
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 it brings happiness in the world. I am of the opinion that
money
Use synonyms
 is in fact, a great source of happiness.
To begin
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 with, it should be considered that people who are of the opinion that
money
Use synonyms
 is evil believe it because they think people work most of their life, trying to provide for their families just for it to be useless as it affects the relationship and connection between them. It is obvious that
this
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 is clearly not totally a financial problem, but
also
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 a problem of overworking.
However
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, it is often maintained that
money
Use synonyms
 is truly a way that people can be way more blissful as it brings the feeling of security and safety, knowing that there is a roof over your head
while
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 being able to eat everywhere and everything you wish. In my view, the most important aspect of it all is that having
money
Use synonyms
 means you get to buy the best available medical care, and not
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to stress about not being able to afford these things.
To sum up
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, having
money
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, does not always mean that it is the root of all problems, because I strongly agree that
money
Use synonyms
 can change a
persons
Change to a genitive case
person's
show examples
 life not only
is
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 very rich, but
also
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 for the lower classes which both provide the basic needs
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and even more.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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