IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that olympic games do not have any role to play in society. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#people #olympic #games #role #society
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The issue of
play
Change the verb form
playing
show examples
 a
role
 in some famous
world
 competitions has turned into a significant problem in
this
 century. some
people
 believe that
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
 do not have an important
role
 in our
society
.
on the other hand
, some think that
world
 competitions can have an interactive effect on the community.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 completely disagree with
this
 idea and the following essay will explore both sides of the
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
show examples
. First and foremost, no one can ever deny the significance of famous
world
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
 like
Correct article usage
the olympic
show examples
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
games
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. in
this
 way, certain groups of
people
 believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 that type of
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
 have
many
Change the quantifier
much
show examples
 worse effect on our community.
for instance
, imposing a financial burden on the countries and the governments should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
tackle the issue of that.
in addition
, the interactive effect
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 just for special groups of
people
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. to put it more simply, that type of competition
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 designed just for specific
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humans. Some might believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 presenting the country and the culture of that
society
 in the
world
 by just holding the
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
games
 is a simple way for the government authorities to show off themself in the
world
. Generally, holding that type of competition
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a significant
role
 for that country. take ,
for example
 , increasing the job position for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it caused
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness in the community dynamics.
To sum up
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
 have an important
role
 in our
society
. and it reflects the power and culture of that country.
Submitted by kambiz.pirzad on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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