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Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation why might this to be case what could be the disadvantages of being self-empoled

#people #work #company #organisation #case
In modern
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 a
lot
 of
people
 have their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
. Some
people
 think that
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
self-empoyed
Correct your spelling
self-employed
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is better th.an work for someone. And of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
 we have a
lot
 of
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disadvantaged
disanvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 and advantaged In the beginning, of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
 it is good
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
show examples
business
. We can run companies and learn a
lot
 of
money
. Introduce
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
 that we want.In the past
espesiolly
Correct your spelling
especially
people
 can have
business
Add an article
a business
show examples
 and now we have
chance
Add an article
the chance
a chance
show examples
 try to something. When we
self-employers
Add a missing verb
are self-employers
show examples
 it is meaning no one can command us and it is really comfortable
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 us. We can work when we want But to be honest we have a
lot
 of
disanvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 too yeah it is cool
try
Fix the infinitive
to try
show examples
 new activities.But we can understand that it is not easy
that
Correct word choice
as
show examples
we
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
think
Fix the infinitive
to think
show examples
.
Business
Fix the agreement mistake
Businesses
show examples
 demand lots of
money
 when we
beginning
Wrong verb form
begin
show examples
 we have to take a risk
that is
 difficult. When we begin no one can
be ensure
Change the verb form
ensure
show examples
 that we can do it because now we have a
lot
 of
comparition
Correct your spelling
competition
 and we can just
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
 lots of
money
. And
that is
 why
people
 in the past do not open their
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
. Now
yong
Correct your spelling
young
people
 more confident than past and more
creativity
Replace the word
creative
show examples
.
Their
Change the pronoun
They
show examples
 always would like to
ear
Correct your spelling
earn
show examples
 a
lot
 of
money
 and it is one reason why they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
want to open
business
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
.
In contrast
, I would like to say that now a
lot
 of
people
 have their
business
 but only
stronge
Correct your spelling
strong
stronger
strange
people
 keep it
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
business
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not easy and demand a majority of
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
,
money
Correct word choice
and money
show examples
 but if we
really
Add a missing verb
are really
show examples
 kind and wise we can be
billionare
Correct your spelling
billionaire
 in
short
Add an article
the short
show examples
 period
however
 we first of have to work for companies like 4-5 years and receive some
experients
Correct your spelling
experiments
show examples
 and save some
money
then
 take a risk.
Submitted by araika.nk on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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