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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college
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The presented bar charts depict the subsequent pathways taken by UK graduate and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 in the year 2008, excluding those who embarked on full-time
work
Use synonyms
. It can be observed that
further
Linking Words
 study was the most prevalent choice of destination for both graduate and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 was the least favoured. The number of graduates who pursued
further
Linking Words
 study soared to almost 30,000, which was significantly higher than those who engaged in other pursuits.
Conversely
Linking Words
, a meagre 3500 graduates chose voluntary
work
Use synonyms
, rendering it the most uncommon post-university destination. Part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and unemployment held a similar number of graduates, with 17,735 and 16,235 respectively.
Likewise
Linking Words
, for postgraduates, the largest and smallest groups, respectively, were those who went on to
further
Linking Words
 study, with 2,725
students
Use synonyms
, and those who opted for voluntary
work
Use synonyms
, with only 345
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, a considerable number of postgraduates engaged in part-time
work
Use synonyms
, with 2,535
students
Use synonyms
, as opposed to unemployment, with only 1,625
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by prostoy.pacan4ek on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
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