The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008
The presented bar charts depict the subsequent pathways taken by UK graduate and postgraduate
students
in the year 2008, excluding those who embarked on full-time
work
. It can be observed that
further
study was the most prevalent choice of destination for both graduate and postgraduate
students
,
while
voluntary
work
was the least favoured. The number of graduates who pursued
further
study soared to almost 30,000, which was significantly higher than those who engaged in other pursuits.
Conversely
, a meagre 3500 graduates chose voluntary
work
, rendering it the most uncommon post-university destination. Part-time
work
and unemployment held a similar number of graduates, with 17,735 and 16,235 respectively.
Likewise
, for postgraduates, the largest and smallest groups, respectively, were those who went on to
further
study, with 2,725
students
, and those who opted for voluntary
work
, with only 345
students
.
However
, a considerable number of postgraduates engaged in part-time
work
, with 2,535
students
, as opposed to unemployment, with only 1,625
students
.
Submitted by prostoy.pacan4ek on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, work with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
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