Many people prefer to communicate with their online friends than to socialize with people in their local communities. Do you think it has more advantages than disadvantages?

#people #friends #communities

The way people socialize has changed over time and

this

is evidenced by the growing influence of social media websites. I think

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the preference

Change preposition

for

show examples

online communication

Change preposition

over

show examples

local communication has more benefits.

Firstly

, online socialization creates a platform which is quite

favorable

Change the spelling

favourable

show examples

for the modern generation to communicate.To be precise,there are

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

constraints to

interact

Wrong verb form

interacting

show examples

online.

For example

, one can express his emotions

any

Change preposition

at any

show examples

time through texts, pictures, audio files or even video calls. The second advantage of

this

type of socializing is that it gives the privilege of a wider circle of friends of similar

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

, which might not always happen

with

Change preposition

show examples

the local community.

For instance

, international exposure is possible with online social media like Instagram, Twitter, Hike or WhatsApp. These applications have online translation facilities too, which no longer makes language a barrier. Experiencing and learning from other cultures are added advantages of

this

mode of communication. When

this

happens, there will be modifications in the standard of living and the world becomes smaller.

However

this

is not free from

criticisms

Fix the agreement mistake

criticism

show examples

. There are questions regarding cultural dilutions and losing real-life relationships. To explain it

further

, when the friend circle expands across international borders, the result is cultural dilution.

Similarly

, online socializing confines people into a virtual world of an altered emotional status, which is far different from a real

inter-personal

Correct your spelling

interpersonal

show examples

relationship.

To conclude

, though there are some visible drawbacks

for

Change preposition

show examples

increasing preference

Change preposition

for

show examples

social media

than

Change preposition

over

show examples

local friendships in today’s world, I think one should go beyond the borders.

Submitted by giainhu123 on Fri Mar 17 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?
It is true that higher positions are prevalently held by aged members in many organizations these days. While some people believe younger people would demonstrate better leadership, it is in my opinion that senior managers possess more advantages over the young in leading a company.
4
band
The ınternet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both this views and give your opinion.
Nowadays social media is one of the most important means of communication. Due to this, some people think that it is a natural and positive way of developing the human comunnications, but I believe it has some negative effects. This essay will discuss both points of view to get reasons for it.
5
band
Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. Do you agree or disagree?
The first bar chart clearly shows the growth in the percentage of people who owned a computer between 2002 and 2010. In 2002, approximately 55% of the population had a computer. This increased gradually over each two-year period to about 70% by 2010. This rise is mirrored in the second bar chart where ownership is broken down by the level of education. In each of the five categories there was an increase in those owning a computer. However, this chart also demonstrates that in both 2002 and 2010 the percentage of computer owners was greater as the level of educational attainment increased. In 2002 only about 12% of those with no high school diploma had a computer, and this only rose to around 40% by 2010. By contrast, in 2002 around 35% of people who went on to college but failed to finish their courses had a computer. This grew to roughly 65% by 2010. The fifth and highest level of education on this chart, a postgraduate qualification, shows the highest percentages of computer owne...
5.5
band
A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary
It is thought that choosing a job with a high salary is more essential than that job satisfaction. From my perspective, I completely disagree with this viewpoint and believe that career enjoyment is much more important than earnings. In the upcoming paragraphs, the reasons to support my disagreement will be outlined.
7
band
Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, and what measures could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?
it is true that the water available to people decreasing day by day. there are several reasons for this situation. But, steps can be taken to tackle the problem by the government and community.

Many people prefer to communicate with their online friends than to socialize with people in their local communities. Do you think it has more advantages than disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

The ınternet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both this views and give your opinion.

Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. Do you agree or disagree?

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, and what measures could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?