Many people prefer to communicate with their online friends than to socialize with people in their local communities. Do you think it has more advantages than disadvantages?

The way people socialize has changed over time and
this
is evidenced by the growing influence of social media websites. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
online communication
to
Change preposition
over
show examples
local communication has more benefits.
Firstly
, online socialization creates a platform which is quite
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
for the modern generation to communicate.To be precise,there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
constraints to
interact
Wrong verb form
interacting
show examples
online.
For example
, one can express his emotions
any
Change preposition
at any
show examples
time through texts, pictures, audio files or even video calls. The second advantage of
this
type of socializing is that it gives the privilege of a wider circle of friends of similar
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
, which might not always happen
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
the local community.
For instance
, international exposure is possible with online social media like Instagram, Twitter, Hike or WhatsApp. These applications have online translation facilities too, which no longer makes language a barrier. Experiencing and learning from other cultures are added advantages of
this
mode of communication. When
this
happens, there will be modifications in the standard of living and the world becomes smaller.
However
,
this
is not free from
criticisms
Fix the agreement mistake
criticism
show examples
. There are questions regarding cultural dilutions and losing real-life relationships. To explain it
further
, when the friend circle expands across international borders, the result is cultural dilution.
Similarly
, online socializing confines people into a virtual world of an altered emotional status, which is far different from a real
inter-personal
Correct your spelling
interpersonal
show examples
relationship.
To conclude
, though there are some visible drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
increasing preference
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
social media
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
local friendships in today’s world, I think one should go beyond the borders.
Submitted by giainhu123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: