IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the average prices of tickets sold at a theatre and the bar chart shows the average percentage of tickets sold in 2010 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the average prices of tickets sold at a theatre and the bar chart shows the average percentage of tickets sold in 2010 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates
Correct article usage
the
show examples
average prices of
tickets
Use synonyms
 which were Sold at a theatre.
While
Linking Words
 the bar charts display the average proportion of
tickets
Use synonyms
 that were sold in the year 2010 and 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen from the blue printer that the prices of
tickets
Use synonyms
 increased gradually
between
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the given Period of time.
However
Linking Words
, the percentage of
tickets
Use synonyms
 which were bought by people fluctuated over two years. on the one hand, in the first quarter
Add a comma
,
show examples
the price of a ticket was about 9.5 pounds until the next quarter
this
Linking Words
 price was steady. But, after that in ,Q3 it reached its peak with almost 10.5 pounds for each ticket.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the price was constant for the Upcoming few quarters which was 10.5 pounds. but it fluctuated
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the percentage of
tickets
Use synonyms
 which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 purchased by the public was about 60% in the first quarter and it remained constant for the next two quarters.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in Q4 the proportion of
tickets
Use synonyms
 purchased for theatre reached its highest which was almost 70%. But, In the upcoming year
this
Linking Words
 percentage dropped dramatically to 20% Eventually, in the next two quarters namely (Q3, and Q4) once again it increased gradually to just above 60%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tickets, q with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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