Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that sweet
food
and beverages should be made more costly in order to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugar consumption of
people
. I would say that I disagree with the given statement. I will give my reasons below.
To begin
with, increasing the price of sugary manufactured
products
is not the fundamental solution for reducing sugar intake.
In other words
,
people
will still pay for overpriced sweet
food
because they do not know eating sugar-included
products
results in serious health issues
such
as obesity and heart disease.
Therefore
, the government should start a campaign which promotes the importance of a healthy diet to educate consumers. If
people
are received enough information that those
products
do harm to their health, they will try to cut sugar-contained
products
in their daily lives. In conclusion, to make
people
eat less sugary
food
it is crucial that the government should warn the side effect of taking highly processed
food
to
people
. Making consumers pay more money for manufactured
products
is not the best way for achieving the purpose.
Submitted by 98shs on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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