IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who use internet every day from 2003-2006.

The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who use internet every day from 2003-2006.
#percentage #adults #age #groups #uk #internet
The chart represents the proportion of adults with various
age
 teams in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Great Britain who
usage
Replace the word
used
show examples
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 daily between 2003 to 2006.
Overall
, the highest
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 among
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
age
group
 compared with the other
age
 groups and the lowest
usages
Fix the agreement mistake
usage
show examples
 were elderly
group
. First of all, in the chart the
age
group
 of 16 to 24 young adults had used
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 the most by the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2005 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
100 % before that, it has been used
same
Change preposition
at same
show examples
 ratio 80% in 2003 and 2004 respectively. But it dropped by 10% by the
year
 of 2006. In the meanwhile, the
group
 of 25 to 44 adults had a gradual
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 from 50% to 80% approximately by the
year
 of 2003 to 2006 respectively and
also
third
Change the article
the third
show examples
group
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
age
 of 45 to 54 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 similar upward trend with almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 percentages which means
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both groups had constant percentages without any changes.
However
, in the
year
 2006
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the highest
peck
Correct your spelling
peak
show examples
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 by the
age
group
 of 55 to 64. Before that
year
 they had little fluctuation and they remain under 36% around. At the
last
group
 of people with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 65+, they used
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 less than any other
group
 as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to 3 years they
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 20%
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
together which is
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
 use of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Submitted by englishpills077 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, internet, group, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: