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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which was result from this energy use

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which was result from this energy use
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions
The two pie chart illustrates
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of
enery
Correct your spelling
energy
 which stem
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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greenhouse
gas
 emissions.
Overall
,In an Australian family energy consumption of heating and water heating is at the highest portion which is the key factor of
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
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green
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
house
gas
 In an Australian family heating and
water
Add a comma
,water
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 heating is made up 42% and 30% respectively.Other resources are
tefrigerator
Correct your spelling
refrigerator
refrigerators
,other appliances ,
lighting
Correct word choice
and lighting
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accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for 71% 15% 4% significantly.
Comparitively
Correct your spelling
Comparatively
 after emissions of
green
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
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house
gas
 ,consumption of heating
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 15% and water heating
32
Change preposition
by 32
show examples
% significantly.
However
, consumption of
enery
Correct your spelling
energy
 source
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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accounted for 14%
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the use of
refregerator
Correct your spelling
refrigerator
refrigerators
 and other appliances made up 28% respectively.Both
portion
Change to a plural noun
portions
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 is increased
by
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the result of
green
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
house
gas
 emissions.
Moreover
,lighting,
cooling
Correct word choice
and cooling
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 portion is accounted for 4% and 2% which is
comparitively
Correct your spelling
comparatively
 increased for the emission of
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
green
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
house
gas
 made up 8% and 3% significantly
Submitted by englishpills077 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words gas, house with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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