The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which was result from this energy use
The two pie chart illustrates
use
of Add an article
the use
enery
which stem Correct your spelling
energy
of
Change preposition
from
the
greenhouse Correct article usage
apply
gas
emissions.
Use synonyms
Overall
,In an Australian family energy consumption of heating and water heating is at the highest portion which is the key factor of Linking Words
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
green
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
house
Use synonyms
gas
In an Australian family heating and Use synonyms
water
heating is made up 42% and 30% respectively.Other resources are Add a comma
,water
tefrigerator
,other appliances ,Correct your spelling
refrigerator
refrigerators
lighting
Correct word choice
and lighting
accounted
for 71% 15% 4% significantly.Wrong verb form
accounting
Comparitively
after emissions of Correct your spelling
Comparatively
green
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
house
Use synonyms
gas
,consumption of heating Use synonyms
is
decreased Unnecessary verb
apply
accounted
for 15% and water heating Wrong verb form
accounting
32
% significantly.Change preposition
by 32
However
, consumption of Linking Words
enery
source Correct your spelling
energy
is
accounted for 14% Unnecessary verb
apply
by
the use of Change preposition
apply
refregerator
and other appliances made up 28% respectively.Both Correct your spelling
refrigerator
refrigerators
portion
is increased Change to a plural noun
portions
by
the result of Change preposition
as
green
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
house
Use synonyms
gas
emissions.Use synonyms
Moreover
,lighting,Linking Words
cooling
portion is accounted for 4% and 2% which is Correct word choice
and cooling
comparitively
increased for the emission of Correct your spelling
comparatively
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
green
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
house
Use synonyms
gas
made up 8% and 3% significantlyUse synonyms
Submitted by englishpills077 on
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gas, house with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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