IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 graph below
demostrate
Correct your spelling
demonstrate
demonstrates
 the opening and closed
shops
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2011 to 2018 in one country. As can be seen, the closures
Use synonyms
shops
Change preposition
of shops
show examples
 decreased
drmactically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
drastically
after
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2014 to 2015 , but right after 2015, we can see that it became increased rapidly within a year.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the opening
Use synonyms
shops
Change preposition
of shops
show examples
 started to
went
Change the verb
go
show examples
 down
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2014. At
first,
Linking Words
in 2011, the opening
shops
Use synonyms
 is approximately 8500 , obviously more than the
Use synonyms
clourses
Correct your spelling
courses
shops
Use synonyms
 which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 only 6500. Over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
several years, it
strated
Correct your spelling
started
 to decline in 2012 and it
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
raised
rises
 again
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2014.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
clourses
Correct your spelling
courses
shops
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 about to maintain
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
6000 to 7000 from 2011 to 2014. But after 2014 , it had a huge
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the both
Use synonyms
clourses
Correct your spelling
courses
 and opening
shops
Use synonyms
 had the lowest point
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2015 and 2018, but we can see that after 2015, the
Use synonyms
clourses
Correct your spelling
course
shops
Use synonyms
 are still much higher than opening
shops
Use synonyms
 in one country.
Submitted by yiinn317 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, clourses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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