Some people say that the best way to improve Vinsers’ health is by increasing the number of sports facilities at VinGroup/Vinhomes locations. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health at those sites and that other measures are required. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

#people #vinsers’ #health #sports #facilities #vingroup #vinhomes #locations #effect #sites #measures

In Vietnam,

public's

Change noun form

public

show examples

health

one

of the most controversial topics that

being

Add a missing verb

is being

show examples

taken care of by the

health

government. To improve the

health

of Vietnamese people, the

health

government demands local authorities

as well as

real estate organizers to come up with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

solutions to maximize their citizen's

health

One

of the biggest real estate

oganizers

Correct your spelling

organizers

in Vietnam is

Vingroup

with over 50 modern urban

neighborhoods

Change the spelling

neighbourhoods

show examples

lie

Wrong verb form

lying

show examples

throughout Vietnam. To take care of

this

problem,

Vingoup

Correct your spelling

Vingroup

came up with solutions by creating the most

convinient

Correct your spelling

convenient

for their customers to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

exercise and encouraging their

citizens

to do it more.

Firstly

Vingroup

has been improving their

infurstructure

Correct your spelling

infrastructure

buiding

Correct your spelling

building

more public

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

such

as tennis courts, swimming

pool

Fix the agreement mistake

pools

show examples

, basketball courts,...

as well as

create

Wrong verb form

creating

show examples

more green field areas

such

as green parks. By doing

this

, more and more

citizens

can access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

those

ultilities

Correct your spelling

utilities

site

Fix the agreement mistake

sites

show examples

and build good habits for their

health

Secondly

Vingroup

has been trying to create more

fasinating

Correct your spelling

fascinating

activities

such

as running

day

Fix the agreement mistake

days

show examples

, tennis tournaments,

Correct word choice

and sportdays

show examples

sportdays

Correct your spelling

sport days

sports days

to encourage their customers to improve their

health

However

, an assessment from the public

health

government show that,

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

Vingroup

's efforts to

increased

Change the form of the verb

increase

show examples

overall

Correct article usage

the overall

show examples

health

of Vietnamese people,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public

health

still remains the same.

This

problem is supposed to

the

Add a missing verb

be the

show examples

lack of participation of their

citizens

and no changes in their eating habits.

Eventhough

Correct your spelling

Even though

, their customers increased their time in attending

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities but their time attending is still low

due to

living far from their work.

In addition

one

of the most things that

affects

Change the verb form

affect

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health

eatting

Correct your spelling

eating

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

, their

citizens

are not change

Change the verb form

are not changing

show examples

it because they refer

fast

Change preposition

to fast

show examples

food more than healthy

one

because

Add the preposition

ofbecause

show examples

their lack of time. In conclusion,

Vingroup

has been trying to improve the

Vietnames

Change noun form

Vietname's

Vietnames'

show examples

overall

health

, but

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

need

Fix the agreement mistake

needs

show examples

to be done to

archieve

Correct your spelling

achieve

for that goal.

Submitted by Andy on Sat Mar 18 2023

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

307 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that there is a lot of importance of lifelong learning in the phase of rapidly changing technology. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views along with your opinion.

Many people believe that all zoos should be closed, while others claim that zoos has positive impact. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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