IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The leaders or directors of organizations are often older people. But some people say that young people can also be a leader. Do you agree or disagree?

Most of the time as we see older
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 are the head of an organization,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 individuals fathom that
youth
Use synonyms
 should run
this
Linking Words
 chair in
near
Correct article usage
the near
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 future.I completely agree with
this
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 view because we are living in a digitalised world where everything is upgraded tremendously and
youth
Use synonyms
 are best to grab
this
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 situation to develop more . First and foremost,youths are more capable in terms of technology and in
this
Linking Words
 science fiction ,globe no one can compete with old skills.To be precise,young
people
Use synonyms
 know how to run
this
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 world and the employees who
work
Use synonyms
 under them.They acquire all sorts of skills ,which makes them faster and eligible for leadership.To illustrate
this
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 almost all offices
required
Wrong verb form
require
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 computers and those who
work
Use synonyms
 there or the manager
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 a profound idea about computers because without knowing it they
don'
Verb problem
aren't
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t
Use synonyms
 able to do a single
work
Use synonyms
.Old
people
Use synonyms
 don'
t
Use synonyms
 have enough idea about computers ,
therefore
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 they have to take suggestions from the
youth
Use synonyms
.
That is
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 why I think
youth
Use synonyms
 should be the future generation of leaders.
Moreover
Linking Words
,youths are more passionate and enthusiastic about their
work
Use synonyms
 than old
people
Use synonyms
.
Although
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 they do have not enough experience of
work
Use synonyms
 if we don'
t
Use synonyms
 give them the opportunity how can they learn.
For instance
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, the Bangladesh government hire young folk as public leaders because they know
youth
Use synonyms
 have a passion for
work
Use synonyms
 and the outcomes are astonishing.
Apart from
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this
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 ,older
people
Use synonyms
 often forget their valuable
work
Use synonyms
 and are sick because of age .
As a result
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,the organization often lost their flow of
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
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,if a manager doesn'
t
Use synonyms
 come to the office for illness the entire company can'
t
Use synonyms
 able to handle the condition. In conclusion,youths are always passionate and enthusiastic about
work
Use synonyms
 though they don'
t
Use synonyms
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
show examples
 skills.But in
this
Linking Words
 technological ,era all companies should move forward and hire young leaders because they can upgrade our company better than old
people
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is connected logically to the next, and that the overall essay follows a clear structure.
task response
Maintain a clear focus on the main topic throughout the essay, providing relevant examples and ideas to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • strategic foresight
  • emotional intelligence
  • demographics
  • innovative
  • mentorship
  • collaboration
  • adaptability
  • networking
  • holistic approach
  • intergenerational
  • visionary
  • inspire
  • progressive
  • technological acumen
  • agility
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