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Band 5.5

In order to improve a country’s education system, young students should be allowed to openly criticize their teachers during class time. What is your opinion? What are some other ways education systems could be improved?

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Introduction
Nowadays, there is a common belief that students should criticize their educationalist within lessons to develop a teaching system.
While
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 I disagree that it is not a good idea to make comments during class time, I think it is quite appropriate to receive feedback from students after classes to revise the teaching methods. The aim of the essay is to support my view and provide other ways
how
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apply
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to develop education systems.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, it is not a proper approach to allow pupils to make notes within their lessons.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that children can start to make inappropriate comments which can be related to different topics and create much noise, all of which only slow the process of studying.
For example
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, in Russia, there is an experimental class where adolescents could interrupt the speech of a teacher during a lesson, and after a couple of
such
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 periods, they passed a test which would show their knowledge.
As a result
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, they didn’t manage to answer all the questions and they gave less proper answers in comparison with what used to be.
Thus
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,
this
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 makes it clear that permission of criticism within studying time doesn’t allow
to increase
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for increased
show examples
 performance and success.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, it is quite useful to receive feedback from learners in the form of a survey, where they are able to write notes and pieces of advice on how to improve the teaching process.
For instance
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, in China, it has become a
well-spread
Correct your spelling
widespread
show examples
 practice to give pupils an opportunity to write about the drawbacks of their lessons to significantly improve the country’s educational methods.
Moreover
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,
according to
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 statistics, the number of successful teenagers from China has been growing every year, so it seems obvious that
such
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 an approach completely works.
Thus
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, schools and universities have a great opportunity to increase their performance by allowing to pupils record their desires
how
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apply
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to improve general studying methods.
Body paragraph 3
In addition
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, there is a vast proportion of other ways
how
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apply
show examples
to improve the studying courses.
Firstly
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, the government should allocate much more money to educational establishments. It would allow them to purchase contemporary equipment
such
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 as computers, tablets and desks.
Besides
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, a significant number of schools and universities lack canteens with proper nutritious meals.
According to
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 research, a proper diet plays an important part in the comprehension of knowledge which increases thought activities.
Conclusion
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that open comments during class time will only decrease the marks of students because of chaos. It seems clear that it is better to allow learners to give feedback in the form of a survey.
Furthermore
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, additional funding from the government can
also
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 contribute to enhancing the studying process.

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Task Response
Task Response: Good identification of different ways to improve education systems. Ensure to clearly address the prompt and provide a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Ensure a clear logical progression of ideas and use cohesive devices to connect different parts of the essay more effectively.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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