In the past, most people lived in the countryside and worked in farming. Some people believe that this was a better way of life than the way most people live today. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Peasants are vigorously significant in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.in the previous decades,people who survived by farming lived in villages,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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others fathom that
this
was a good way of
life
rather than today.I completely disagree with
this
view because we are living in an era where everything is top-notched and it's making our
life
more astounding than ever. First and foremost, day by day we are becoming more digitalized and living a better
life
than ever.To be precise,now we can do any work by using advanced technology ,which makes our
life
easier and more comfortable.
Apart from
this
,we can generate more food, a better health system and
top-notched
Correct your spelling
top-notch
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transportation.To illustrate
this
,in previous times we
can't
Wrong verb form
couldn't
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export our food out of our own town because we didn't have a good transportation system ,
therefore
most of the farmers
can't
Verb problem
weren't
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able to make benefits.But now we can export our foods, clothes and medicines to any country ,which
also
benefited
Wrong verb form
benefits
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poor countries.
Moreover
,we can communicate with anyone in the world beyond our imagination.The mobile phone brings
this
revolutionary aspect.Though we face some unwanted problems these can be mitigated by our proper intention.
Apart from
this
, we have now a greater education system,which is the primary need in everyone's
life
.To illustrate these students are now able to access their necessary things by using computers and phones but in the previous ,times we just went to school and
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
what our teacher taught us.At present time pupils know many things outside of the context,which makes them more intelligent . In conclusion,today we live in an era where everything is under our control,
hence
we can live a better
life
than ever.Though these inventions create problems like wars,cyber crimes and expensive products these things
sort
Wrong verb form
are sorted
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out by
making
Correct your spelling
taking
show examples
proper steps.
Submitted by rabek440 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and organized structure. The introduction and conclusion need to be more defined. The main points need to be better connected and supported throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
The response to the task is somewhat clear, but the main points could be further developed and supported with relevant examples. Make sure to fully address the prompt, providing a clear stance and supporting arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • countryside
  • farming
  • urbanization
  • stress-free
  • tight-knit
  • sustainable
  • subsistence
  • technological sophistication
  • professional advancement
  • quality of life
  • romanticize
  • ancestral
  • industrial revolution
  • agrarian
  • nostalgic
  • diversification
  • modern conveniences
  • holistic well-being
  • social dynamics
  • longevity
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