IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write a letter to your friend about a job opportunity you came across that they might find interesting. In your letter, you should: give some details about the job mention how you came across the job opportunity explain why you feel the job would be suitable for your friend

#friend #job #opportunity
Dear
john
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John
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, I hope you and your family are all well. I am just writing to let you know about the HR personnel required in Max trade corporation. First of all, you
familiar
Add a missing verb
are familiar
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 with my work and the
company
 Max Trade where I am currently working.
This
company
 works at a large scale level and
much
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has much
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 more goodwill in the market.
This
company
 released
post
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the post
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 of HR position. Talk about benefits provided for
this
 vacancy are healthcare service to all its members
along with
 that basic salary package, excluding perks and
bonus
Correct article usage
a bonus
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 is Rs.68,000 and working only
weekdays
Change preposition
on weekdays
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.
However
,
this
post
only
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is only
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 for the branch
baddi
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Baddi
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, Himachal Pradesh.
Accommodation
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The accommodation
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also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 provided by
company
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the company
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. Moving on, I knew about
this
 opportunity through my line manager.
This
post
 is on
contract
Correct article usage
a contract
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 basis for two years. After that
according to
work
Correct article usage
the work
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 progression of
employee
Correct article usage
the employee
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company
 will take a wise decision and provide more benefits.
This
 recruitment process
only
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is only
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 based on the interview.
Board
Correct article usage
The Board
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 of directors conduct
Add an article
the interview
an interview
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interview
Fix the agreement mistake
interviews
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 as per the Application of applicants on 5 May 2003.
Finally
, my personal experience says that you are eligible for that HR
post
 because you have
fulfil
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fulfilled
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 all the requirements for
this
 vacancy namely two
years
Change noun form
years'
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 experience in
same
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the same
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 field.
Moreover
, there is enough time to prepare for the interview. I personally recommend you go through once for
this
 opportunity. Every information available on the
company
 website www.mtrader.com. I hope my suggestion would help you to decide what is best for you.  I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best wishes, Elle
Submitted by parvinderp93 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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