IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Human beings should find new ways to live with climate change rather than prevent it from becoming worse. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#beings #climate #change
Climate
change
 raises more and more questions as to whether it is better to find new
ways
 to adapt to
climate
change
 than to prevent it from
further
change
.
However
, in my opinion, I believe that in the short
term
Add a comma
,term
show examples
 it is definitely better to look for new
ways
 to adapt to
climate
change
. But in the long
term
,
people
 should
also
 be looking to protect the
climate
 for the better. They are both very important. I accept that it is important to find new
ways
 to adapt to
climate
change
.
People
 need to respond more quickly to
climate
change
 in order to ensure that our livelihoods are secure.
For example
, in some European countries, the heat has caused many
people
 to die in the summer. But
this
 would not have happened if new measures had been executed,
such
 as sprinkling water on city roads, increasing the number of trees in cities, etc.
On the other hand
, it is
also
 extremely crucial to prevent the
climate
 from getting worse.
People
 have a great influence on the
climate
. If we don't
change
, the
climate
 problem will get worse and worse until we can't survive.
For example
, a large part of the global warming problem is caused by using our cars, which produce a lot of carbon dioxide. If we use more clean energy cars and public transport, we will alleviate
this
 problem and
thus
 reduce our impact on the
climate
.
To conclude
, it is essential for us to find new
ways
 to adapt to
climate
change
 and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
prevent the
climate
 from getting worse. In the short
term
Add a comma
,term
show examples
 we need to respond quickly to the effects of
climate
change
 to protect our livelihoods. In the long
term
Add a comma
,term
show examples
 we need to find
ways
 to reduce our impact on the
climate
 and repair it.
Submitted by cleoovo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: