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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph shows how much
fish
Use synonyms
 and
meat
Use synonyms
 (
chicken
Use synonyms
,
beef
Use synonyms
, and lamb) were consumed by the average person in a particular European country from 1979 to 2004 in grams per week (
Use synonyms
gpw
Correct your spelling
gw
).

Overall
Linking Words
,
consumption
Use synonyms
 of all types of
meat
Use synonyms
 declined with the exception of
chicken
Use synonyms
, which showed a steady increase in popularity.
Chicken
Use synonyms
 replaced
beef
Use synonyms
 as the most popular
meat
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
fish
Use synonyms
 remained the least consumed throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. At the start of the
period
Use synonyms
,
beef
Use synonyms
 was the most popular
meat
Use synonyms
, with over 200
gpw
Use synonyms
 being consumed by the average person. At the same time,
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
chicken
Use synonyms
 and lamb stood at about 150
gpw
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 that of
fish
Use synonyms
 was much lower, at 60
Use synonyms
gpw
Correct your spelling
gw
.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, individual
chicken
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 rose steadily, finishing the
period
Use synonyms
 at 250
gpw
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
in contrast
Linking Words
, personal demand for
beef
Use synonyms
 and lamb saw consistent declines, despite
beef
Use synonyms
 peaking at around 240
gpw
Use synonyms
 in 1984. By the end of the
period
Use synonyms
, their respective levels of
consumption
Use synonyms
 had fallen to around 100 and 60
Use synonyms
gpw
Correct your spelling
now
. With regard to
fish
Use synonyms
, it was the least popular at all
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
, falling from 60
gpw
Use synonyms
 eaten by a typical person in
this
Linking Words
 country in 1979, to 40
gpw
Use synonyms
 in 2004.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, meat, chicken, beef, gpw, consumption, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • metric tons
  • fluctuations
  • upward/downward trend
  • stabilize
  • peak
  • trough
  • overtake
  • steady decline/increase
  • sustainable
  • dietary habits
  • preferences
  • health consciousness
  • per capita
  • poultry
  • veal
  • stagnant
  • gradual
  • surpass
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