IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

in some countries, people spend long hour at work. why does this trend happen? is it a positive or negative development ?

#countries #people #hour #work #trend #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
these days, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 have the tendency of spending almost their
time
Use synonyms
 at the workplace dues to their heavy workload and the high demand for well-paid salaries. personally, I hold the belief that the merits of
this
Linking Words
 trend are overshadowed by its demerits. it is worth mentioning that the tendency of working for a long
time
Use synonyms
 is attributed to the huge amount of
work
Use synonyms
 and their need for wages.
firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are often under pressure of finishing their workload because their bosses always want their employees to
work
Use synonyms
 in a productive way.
as a result
Linking Words
, they are unable to recharge their batteries.
moreover
Linking Words
, overpopulation and inflation can lead to higher prices of goods, especially in big metropolises.
therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 need to put more effort into working in order to enhance their standard of living.
for example
Linking Words
, in Dubai, the prices of all goods are prohibitively expensive, so if its citizens do not
work
Use synonyms
 hard, they are unable to survive there. despite the aforementioned argument, I strongly believe that
this
Linking Words
 an adverse trend recently. it is true that spending a long-term period at the workplace makes
people
Use synonyms
 stressed which is likely to result in some serious mental problems,
such
Linking Words
 as depression.
consequently
Linking Words
, these
people
Use synonyms
 can not
work
Use synonyms
 and must depend on others.
furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
's relationships with their families and friends would become less tight, as
people
Use synonyms
 do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to keep in touch with them
due to
Linking Words
 their hectic schedules.
for instance
Linking Words
, in the united states, the rate of divorces has significantly increased since 2019, because more married couples prioritize their career rather than their personal life. in conclusion, it seems to me that the heavy workload and the monthly wages are the main motives for
people
Use synonyms
 to stay longer at their offices, in spite of some certain drawbacks.
therefore
Linking Words
, it is advisable for them to balance their
time
Use synonyms
 between working and relaxing.
Submitted by bobong120906 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: