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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
It is popularly believed that in recent years agriculture is well developed, so why are there many places in the world where people are still hungry?
This
 essay will explain
this
 issue and will give a solution to
this
 problem.
To begin
 with, wealthy countries don’t have trouble with food,
due to
 the fact they have an opportunity to buy it and import it.
However
, when it comes to poorer ones it is approximately impossible. Giving an example, Africa has a problem with hunger,
as a result
 of not possessing any machine which could improve agriculture, which is connected
with
Change preposition
to
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 a lack of money. What is more, they don't have pleasant grounds for vegetables or fruits. Well-developed countries offer help, but they want to sell their products, not just give them. To resolve
this
 issue first thought would be charity action. They are first-class options, and there are plenty of places where you have the opportunity to give some food to people who go hungry.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 they are good for a short period of time. From an economic point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 a wealthy region should invest some money to develop a poorer community. Both sides will get some benefits.
For instance
, they can buy a huge area and try to develop it by buying a special machine and hiring people to work. As far as I am concerned,
this
 is a massive issue
that is
 hard to resolve, but when we try to find a solution there are plenty of options. That’s why I would rather everyone
supported
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
 the charity actions. Regions which have money should invest in less developed places.
Submitted by jula.wierzba on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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