Some young people are watching television for long periods of the day. Why do they do this? Give reasons and suggest what should be done to encourage them to live more active lifestyle.

This
time
TV
is the most interesting thing that you can add to your home
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
nevertheless
will play a role in losing your
time
.
This
essay will not only focus on demerits but
also
some relevant measures for reducing
this
issue. First of all young people normally are more active and disrupt the home
then
their mother tries to bring some relaxation
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
herself
then
will direct
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
to
TV
Correct article usage
the TV
show examples
as one reason to bring some
Change the article
aquite
show examples
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
time
to her home .
Apart from
this
, younger people will
addict
Add a missing verb
be addict
show examples
that
TV
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
their most active
time
,
consequently
they will reduce their energy to
finish
Change the verb form
finishing
show examples
some activities ,
For instance
, if
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
TV
watching in their most active
time
like early morning absolutely will never find
time
for a workout . I believe that the practice to-do list for your next day provides certain merits to
achievement
Replace the word
achieving
show examples
some goals and
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
addiction to watching
Tv
for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
-
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
of
time
. when you take impactful steps for improving
Correct article usage
the
show examples
quality of your lifestyle
this
directly affected you to reduce any sources that might interrupt your energy and your
time
. In conclusion , I want to reiterate that even though demerits are there but
also
TV
can help to find some merits of improving your life .
Submitted by Haneen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!