Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

Nowadays, an alarming number of diseases increased

due to

sugary

food

items

. there are few individuals who are arguing to make it expensive compare to natural

products

to reduce its consumption. I strongly affirm

this

statement and my viewpoint is elaborated

further

this

essay.

Firstly

, sugary

food

items

are easily available in the market. It is not only cheaper in cost but

also

their marketing is attractive. Their advertisements on billboards and TV are targeting the young generation and as a

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

result children prefer to have coke and sandwiches in their meals rather than have healthy

food

and natural juices made with fruits

such

as mango, orange, and pineapple. These carbohydrate

products

invite diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure and obesity. It is significantly important to reduce its usage to improve our health life.

Secondly

, to reduce

this

ratio, the government should

levid

Correct your spelling

levied

high taxes on

such

unhealthy

food

items

to make them expensive. If sugary

products

are costly compared to natural

ones

then

only the public will move towards real

ones

For instance

last

year in Germany, the government applied high taxes on tobacco to reduce its consumption and they got

a positive results

Correct the article-noun agreement

a positive result

positive results

show examples

and the usage of tobacco decreased dramatically. It shows that people have fewer choices as it is directly knocking on their pockets. In summary, If real

products

are cheaper than sugary

ones

then

only adults will move to natural

ones

and they will encourage their children, too. The increasing rate of sugar-added

items

is the best possible way to reduce its consumption and get a healthy lifestyle.

Submitted by mayini711 on Mon Mar 20 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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