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Band 5

Young people of modern society are involved in part-time jobs after their studies. advantages and disadvantages of this?

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In
modern
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the modern
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 world,
a
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apply
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part-time employment is becoming more common among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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students
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. Post-study work assists adolescents to be experienced and
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
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 financial shortages.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 will cause problems in their studies and affect their mental health. On the one hand,
temporary
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the temporary
a temporary
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 job for teenagers is that they learn to work with people and develop a sense of responsibility from an early age. From
Linking Words
this
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,this
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 they gain a better understanding of the real world.
Moreover
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, young people will be able to control their financial expenses and manage money themselves.
As a result
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 get
the
Correct article usage
an
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 understanding
of
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apply
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how to utilise their money effectively
instead
Linking Words
 of unnecessary spending.
For example
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, in our country, most
of
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apply
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Use synonyms
students
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the students
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 start to pay their study
fee
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fees
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 themselves after taking a part-time job.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks
of
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to
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 having
a post-study jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a post-study job
post-study jobs
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.
Students
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 are not able to manage their studies and office work at the same time. Because they spend their considerable hours
with
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apply
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working in place of studying to achieve their academic grades.
Furthermore
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, teenagers feel their life is very hectic as after their part-time job they do not have
energy
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the energy
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 and strength to complete them equally after that they become depressed.
For example
Linking Words
, university results showed that a great number of
students
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 working as part-time employees are not able to perform academically well in their subjects in our country. In conclusion, even though having
a
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apply
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part-time employment is beneficial and effective, it leads to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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detrimental effects on teenagers’ education and
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 more negative aspects.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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