IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people are born to be a leader, others believe that leadership can be learned, Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #leader #leadership
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There are some
people
Use synonyms
 who came to
this
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 world with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 capability to rule ,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
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 others think that
this
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 ability can be attained by practice.
This
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 essay will illustrate these two sides ,
while
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 I am
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the view that
this
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 talent can attain
by
Change preposition
through
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 vigorous training. There are
people
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 who
born
Add a missing verb
are born
show examples
 with the characteristics of a
leader
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 and reached their goal with their inborn strength will help them to achieve that.
This
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 may be
due to
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 the circumstances
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they are facing and some of them earn by
hereditary
Replace the word
heredity
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,
hence
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 they are reaching the position without
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
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any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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taking any effort. There are some rulers
got
Correct pronoun usage
who got
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 their position because
of
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apply
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their forefathers
we're
Correct your spelling
were
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 kings ,
thus
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 they become a part of royal families. In that
scenario
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,scenario
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 it can be considered that they
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 to be ruled.
On the other hand
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, leadership can
be earn
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be earned
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
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 regular practice and interference
in
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with
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 the
people
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. There
for
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apply
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willingness to work hard ,and face the consequences
in
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of
show examples
 the turbulence of politics is
matter
Correct article usage
a matter
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,
Whic
Correct your spelling
that
 will help them to
came
Change the verb
come
show examples
 out through the turmoil from their own group and from the opposition.
As a result
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, a good
leader
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 with all these
character
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characteristics
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 will build up and become
a
Change the article
an
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 asset to the society and nation. So learning is an important factor to become a good
leader
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. In my opinion, leadership can be achieved by
regulate
Change the form of the verb
regulating
show examples
practice
Add an article
the practice
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 and making interactions with
people
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 and colleagues without hesitation and prejudice.
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Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 certain sacrifices and anticipation to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their dreams to become a
leader
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.
This
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 leads to
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
 a perfect
leader
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 with good vision and power to
controll
Correct your spelling
control
 all the bureaucracy , which is the essential part of governing.
To sum up
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 , some
people
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 are born with certain talents and their ancestral power to become the
leader
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 ,but a proper way to become a
leader
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 is ,
sacrifice
Change preposition
through sacrifice
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 and willingness to approach difficulties. I believe that the
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 makes a proper
leader
Use synonyms
 with essential knowledge and characteristics
Submitted by geokavalackal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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