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Band 4

Some people are born to be a leader, others believe that leadership can be learned, Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #leader #leadership
There are some
people
 who came to
this
 world with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 capability to rule ,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 others think that
this
 ability can be attained by practice.
This
 essay will illustrate these two sides ,
while
 I am
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the view that
this
 talent can attain
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 vigorous training. There are
people
 who
born
Add a missing verb
are born
show examples
 with the characteristics of a
leader
 and reached their goal with their inborn strength will help them to achieve that.
This
 may be
due to
 the circumstances
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they are facing and some of them earn by
hereditary
Replace the word
heredity
show examples
,
hence
 they are reaching the position without
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
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any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
taking any effort. There are some rulers
got
Correct pronoun usage
who got
show examples
 their position because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their forefathers
we're
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 kings ,
thus
 they become a part of royal families. In that
scenario
Add a comma
,scenario
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 it can be considered that they
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 to be ruled.
On the other hand
, leadership can
be earn
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be earned
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 regular practice and interference
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
people
. There
for
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apply
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willingness to work hard ,and face the consequences
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the turbulence of politics is
matter
Correct article usage
a matter
show examples
,
Whic
Correct your spelling
that
 will help them to
came
Change the verb
come
show examples
 out through the turmoil from their own group and from the opposition.
As a result
, a good
leader
 with all these
character
Replace the word
characteristics
show examples
 will build up and become
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 asset to the society and nation. So learning is an important factor to become a good
leader
. In my opinion, leadership can be achieved by
regulate
Change the form of the verb
regulating
show examples
practice
Add an article
the practice
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 and making interactions with
people
 and colleagues without hesitation and prejudice.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 certain sacrifices and anticipation to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their dreams to become a
leader
.
This
 leads to
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
 a perfect
leader
 with good vision and power to
controll
Correct your spelling
control
 all the bureaucracy , which is the essential part of governing.
To sum up
 , some
people
 are born with certain talents and their ancestral power to become the
leader
 ,but a proper way to become a
leader
 is ,
sacrifice
Change preposition
through sacrifice
show examples
 and willingness to approach difficulties. I believe that the
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 makes a proper
leader
 with essential knowledge and characteristics
Submitted by geokavalackal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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