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Band 5

It is better for people to be unemployed than being employed with a job they do not enjoy.to what exten do yo agree or disagree

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In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary epoch, some
people
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
favour that being
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
jobless is good for enjoyment.
Whereas
Linking Words
,others opine that it is better for
people
Use synonyms
 to be employed with
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
 than they do not enjoy. I deem that there are equal positive impacts on the
people
Use synonyms
. So,I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, owning to several reasons that emphasise,
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
 should be employed with
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 like
professional
Add an article
a professional
show examples
job
Use synonyms
, which they have interests. To elaborate, many
people
Use synonyms
 are doing
work
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies and some have
profession
Replace the word
professional
show examples
 jobs.So,
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 things make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 more
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
focused
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 and they can make money by doing
a
Remove the article
work
a job
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. It is compulsory that managers give limited
work
Use synonyms
, which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to complete
work
Use synonyms
 more accurately.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 workers can
also
Linking Words
 get time to enjoy some memorable moments with other workers and family.
Also
Linking Words
, there is less chance of mistakes if
work
Use synonyms
 is limited for everyone.
As a result
Linking Words
, it leads to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
positive impact towards employees.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some aspects that determine, why it is better for
people
Use synonyms
 to be unemployed for enjoyment. To a greater extent reason is that there is no doubt jobless
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy
freely
Correct pronoun usage
themselves freely
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 without any stress but it should be necessary to have
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 amount of money to
exploring
Wrong verb form
explore
show examples
 new places just for entertainment.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by the United Nations Census Bureau,in the USA,in 2015, a sample size of 1437 individuals revealed that
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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tourists who are above retirement age
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have enough money to explore the world because they are unemployed,
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
no stress about the
work
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it leads to more
enjoyment
Replace the word
enjoyable
show examples
life
Change preposition
in life
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 rather than
employed
Add a missing verb
being employed
show examples
 once.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is clear from the above discussion that
although
Linking Words
 there are abundant merits of an unemployed and employed with a
job
Use synonyms
 to joy their life.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many benefits to enjoy after above 60 age.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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