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Band 5.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particu;lar species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #particu #lar #species #plants #animals
The phenomenon of what is the most serious environmental
problem
 these days has aroused wide concern among various circles. Divergent as people's views on
this
 issue in question may be, I personally believe that there are more significant than
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
show examples
 of some
animals
 and
plants
. On
one
 hand, some people believe that the decreasing of species of
plants
 and
animals
 is the most important issue for the modern world because it directly
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
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the ability
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
fullfilling
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
 the food consumption of humans.
For example
, fish is
one
 of the main food
source
Change to a plural noun
sources
show examples
 for us.
However
, their number
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined
Replace the word
declines
show examples
 every year because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overhunted and gradually decreased
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their number of reproduction.
Therefore
,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of some type of food
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the whole world. If
this
 situation
keep
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keeps
show examples
aggravate
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aggravating
show examples
, a wide range of famine is predicted.
On the other hand
, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate
change
 is a bigger
problem
, which is the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the decreaseing
show examples
decreaseing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 species of
plants
 and
animals
 and causing other problems that
harmful
Add a missing verb
are harmful
show examples
 to humans in various ways
such
 as the rising sea level, the increasing
temperture
Correct your spelling
temperature
temperatures
, unpredictable weather, etc... No matter which
one
, they are able to cause
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
show examples
 of humans.
For instance
, the
temperture
Correct your spelling
temperature
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 until our body cannot adapt
it
Change preposition
to it
show examples
.
As a result
,
climate
change
 is the most
erious
Correct your spelling
serious
problem
 that should be alleviated first. Under
this
 line of thinking, It seems to me that the
decreaseing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 number of species of
plants
 and
animals
 is
one
 of the
result
Change to a plural noun
results
show examples
 of
climate
change
.
Hence
,
climate
change
 should be the most important
problem
 of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Submitted by frankyimp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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