Should young children be encouraged to follow strict rules based on their cultural traditions or allowed to behave freely? Discuss both views and give your opinion

In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged by some
people
that new property should be constructed in their local traditional style
while
others, including myself, argue that
people
need to have the freedom to select their own way of modelling. Throughout the centuries most of the government authorities and nationalists were working collaboratively with citizens to preserve their cultural heritage like local
design
of houses. The intentions of these actions were predominantly to continue their national uniqueness and protect their ancient history.
For example
, in Kazan, there is a special area in the city center, called "Kazan Village", which consists of buildings constructed and designed in 17th to 19th century styles.
Furthermore
, their interior designs followed up with traditional architecture's motives, including a majority of the local mosaic
ornament
Replace the word
ornamentation
show examples
and patterns.
As a result
, Kazan Village attracted more youth and triggered their interest in historical taste in their daily life.
On the other hand
, with the advent of new technology,
people
have more diversity in the art and
design
of real estate.
Moreover
, modern inventions consider more precautions related to the local landscape nuances like facing unpredicted earthquakes or sales.
For instance
, in Sochi, which is encircled by mountains, more and more
people
rely on high-tech applications, to help them to evaluate the safety of their buildings and
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
proportion of chemical elements.
Additionally
, there are several local companies integrated into these apps, promoting
21st century
Add a hyphen
21st-century
show examples
fashionable
design
which is totally different from what is inherited from their ancestors.
To conclude
, in our modern world, several
people
try to continue their traditions and keep building houses in their conservative way.
However
, with the help of
cutting edge
Add a hyphen
cutting-edge
show examples
technology, construction became safer and more attractive in terms of long-term projects. In my opinion, new interventions in
design
are more beneficial and governments need to allow them for the public.
Submitted by gainutdin87 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly links back to the main argument with smooth transitions. While the essay structure is generally logical, some points could be more cohesively connected.
task achievement
Expand on the ideas to provide deeper insight and ensure that each point made is comprehensively explained. Additionally, directly addressing the essay prompt and clearly presenting your own opinion throughout the essay will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both traditional and modern approaches to building design, providing relevant examples for each.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which support the overall flow of the essay and make it easier to follow.

Your opinion

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