Personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #individuals #internet #companies #organisations #situation

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There is no doubt that the

Internet

Use synonyms

has become essential for both masses and

companies

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but still, there is a risk to the privacy of individuals

that is

Linking Words

contained by the third

companies

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. I believe that the downsides outweigh the advantages and I will elaborate on my viewpoints in upcoming paragraphs with suitable examples. To strengthen my point of view, Google, Instagram, Facebook and other apps and websites detain the personal

information

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of the masses. First and foremost, people utilize their time on multifarious kinds of apps dint of

this

Linking Words

, they spend a lot of time getting in touch with their near and dear ones, and sending emails or doing other tasks by using

such

Linking Words

tools

as a result

Linking Words

companies

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already know that what forms of emails customer receive about their preferences so organizations can use that details to promote their products and improve their sites. To cite an example, if

internet

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companies

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contain individuals' personal

information

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then

Linking Words

it could be helpful to find true criminals because these organizations have all records of messages, calls and emails

consequently

Linking Words

, police will be able to discover culprits in a fast time. There are

also

Linking Words

some downsides of large

internet

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companies

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, which keep public

information

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Firstly

Linking Words

, sometimes third-party

companies

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steal the privacy of the public and they could lose money from the masses'

bank

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accounts as there are a lot of scams happening day by day because sometimes websites and apps are unable to secure public

information

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properly

due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, people lose their money as hackers get the

bank

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passcodes successfully with their stealing techniques.

For example

Linking Words

, people do online shopping and sometimes they

saved

Wrong verb form

save

show examples

their

bank

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information

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on websites because of

this

Linking Words

, scammers hack the

bank

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account details and withdraw all the money from customers' accounts. To recapitulate, every garden has weeds,

Linking Words

similarly

Add a comma

similarly,

show examples

internet

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companies

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also

Linking Words

have some drawbacks to public privacy. so, organizations must make sure that if they have public

information

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then

Linking Words

it should be protected so scammers do not get customers'

information

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for inappropriate purposes.

Submitted by sekhogghk on Tue Mar 21 2023

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task response

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic and supports the main argument effectively.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay with clear topic sentences and logical connections between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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Personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that we cannot learn anything from the past for our life today, while others believe that history is a valuable source of information to understand Humans life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?