In some countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people believe that governments have the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often observed that
overall
prosperity can lead to health problems, especially among toddlers and teenagers. While
parents
play a crucial role in promoting their kids
' well-being, it is equally important for governments
to take accountability for ensuring the young generations' physique. In other words
, I totally agree that governments
should have the responsibility to solve this
problem.
Undoubtedly, parents
are primarily responsible for their kids
' well-being. However
, there are certain factors beyond their control, calling for governmental intervention. For instance
, parental pressure for kids
to excel in academics and extracurricular activities can lead to students' sedentary lifestyles, which in turn can cause physical problems. Furthermore
, busy working parents
often find it difficult to provide healthy organic meals to their children, which can also
result in them consuming unhealthy fast food. Nevertheless
, the aforementioned are all systematic issues that could only be solved by the government, because it is not the parents
or the kids
that are making the competition for survival so fierce in modern societies.
Admittedly, it takes time for governments
to solve these problems, and it will be long-lasting progress to thoroughly change the way a society selects talents. Despite the limitations, certain tasks can be made at hand by governments
immediately to keep the young generation fit. One of the most effective ways is to ensure that parents
have access to reliable healthcare facilities and education. By providing regular check-ups and preventive care, the government can help parents
detect both mental and physical issues early and address them in a timely manner. Additionally
, the government can regulate food safety and ensure that children are not exposed to toxic food. This
can be achieved through strict regulations and awareness campaigns.
In conclusion, both parents
and governments
have their blame to share in making children less healthy and governments
have their long-term and short-term obligations for making these younger residents strong and healthy.Submitted by yangbowen251 on
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coherence cohesion
In the introduction, clearly state your position on the issue (agree or disagree) and provide a preview of your main points to come.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is focused on a specific idea or argument related to the topic. Provide more detailed examples to support your points and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Check for proper paragraph structure with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Develop your ideas more thoroughly and consider the counterargument to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points and make your arguments more convincing. Use data or statistics to support your claims where applicable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.