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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that governments should not provide international aid when they have unemployment and homelessness in their country.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #aid #unemployment #homelessness #country
In the globalised world,
governments
 across the world have been
assosiated
Correct your spelling
associated
 together in
finansial
Correct your spelling
financial
 aspects to raise international aid for
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
fortune
Replace the word
fortunate
show examples
 countries.
However
, some people might say that they should not offer
such
 support
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 foreign countries when the
government
 has unemployment and homelessness in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 nation.
This
 essay will explore why I agree with
this
 statement to some extent from two key reasons, international
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 and domestic
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. To commence with, the most advantageous respect which financial
intervines
Correct your spelling
intervenes
 beyond
border
Correct article usage
the border
show examples
 have is mutual support when one
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 financial help
due to
spefisic
Correct your spelling
specific
 troubles
such
 as terrorism and environmentally
desease
Correct your spelling
disease
. In
such
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
, it is
crusially
Correct your spelling
crucially
crucial
 helpful for the very
government
 which get
trouble
Change preposition
into trouble
show examples
 to be a
menber
Correct your spelling
member
 of
international
Correct article usage
an international
show examples
 financial organisation, resulting from that they would be too busy dealing with other aspects to pay attention only to financial issue. Alternatively, for
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
,
North
Correct article usage
the North
show examples
 Korean
government
, where
Correct article usage
an admisistration
show examples
admisistration
Correct your spelling
administration
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
never raise money for oversea countries, could only turn a blind
eyes
Correct the article-noun agreement
eye
show examples
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 civil's famine since they were incapable of asking for
finansial
Correct your spelling
financial
 aid
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 other
governments
.
However
, it is
also
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fact that many
governments
 have tended to attach more
budget
 to policy for
international
Add an article
an international
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 rather than saving
suffers
Wrong verb form
suffering
show examples
 in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
This
 circumstance
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been enhancing
such
 opinion as they should not afford to take care of
othet
Correct your spelling
other
the
 nation with a lot of domestic financial problem.
For example
,
Acording
Correct your spelling
According
 to
gross
Add an article
the gross
a gross
show examples
budget
 breakdown of
Japanese
Add an article
the Japanese
show examples
government
,
shoestring
Correct article usage
the shoestring
show examples
budget
 can be seen offering as unemployment benefits for redundant people from their
ex-enployers
Correct your spelling
ex-employers
.
Therefore
,
governments
 have to see
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their annual
budget
Correct word choice
and wheter
show examples
wheter
Correct your spelling
whether
 each category is allocated in accurate amount.
To sum up
, it is ,for sure, important for each
government
 to establish
Add an article
a financial
show examples
financial
Change the word
financially
show examples
 supportive
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with others, they cannot forget their obligation for making their own people happy.
Submitted by lisa_smile_2 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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