IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society?

#countries #students #study #science #effects #society
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Nowadays, it is experienced that
students
Use synonyms
 are not likely to choose
science
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 for studying in many countries.
This
Linking Words
 can stem from many causes, which can give rise to several issues. There are a number of factors responsible for
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 why
science
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
 has not been chosen by
students
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
science
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subject
Use synonyms
 brings numerous difficulties to
students
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. It demands they
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
good memory with a wide range
knowledge
Change preposition
of knowledge
show examples
, which
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 can hardly approach.
As a result
Linking Words
,
students
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, especially those who reckon that
science
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
 like biology, chemistry, ... is not suitable for them,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may feel tired and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not get anything left in their brains after being lectured. Another cause could be that
science
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
 are not necessary
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days. Nowadays,
jobs
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 do not require the
science
Use synonyms
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
 back in the day, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 tend to choose another way to gain their learning
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
earsier
Correct your spelling
easier
earlier
subjects
Use synonyms
. Doing
this
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, can lead to several problems. First of all,
jobs
Use synonyms
 that require
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 or social
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 could be more competitive. Most
students
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 choose soft
subjects
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 to study because it does not demand a large amount of knowledge, and after graduation, they compete
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 to look for a job.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it will lead to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
 rate in the future.
Another issues
Replace the adjective
Another issue
Other issues
show examples
 could be that career would be more imbalanced. Social
jobs
Use synonyms
 like business,
education
Correct word choice
and education
show examples
, ... will lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
job opportunities for
students
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, scientific
jobs
Use synonyms
 like investigation, doing
resreach
Correct your spelling
research
... will become
redudant
Correct your spelling
redundant
 in the future. In conclusion,
students
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does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not choose
science
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
 to study for several reasons and
this
Linking Words
 can result in a number of issues.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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task response
Clarity of ideas and examples could be improved to better address the task.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure and coherence could be strengthened by using clearer transitions and organizing ideas more effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math)
  • Perception of difficulty
  • Early exposure
  • Engaging experiences
  • Career opportunities
  • Practical applications
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural norms
  • Critical fields
  • Innovation
  • Economic development
  • Global competitiveness
  • Public health
  • Environmental issues
  • Scientific progress
  • Educational standards
  • Biodiversity loss
  • Healthcare services
  • Medical research
  • Job prospects
  • Research and technology
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