Scientists advise people to lead a healthy lifestyle, but most people continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think it is and what can do with it

#scientists #people #lifestyle #activities

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The number of

people

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with chronic diseases

such

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as hypertension dan diabetes mellitus has continued to increase.

Therefore

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, experts in

health

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advise the public to have a healthy

lifestyle

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However

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, it seems that many

people

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have difficulty starting healthier habits. In

this

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essay, I will discuss the possible causes and

sollutions

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solutions

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this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

problems

Fix the agreement mistake

problem

show examples

To begin

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with, in

this

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modern society,

people

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need to live more efficiently.

For example

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, as both parents work, there is less time to cook

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health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

meal

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meals

show examples

for themselves and their

childrens

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children

show examples

. It leads to

unhealty

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unhealthy

habits

such

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as buying

fastfood

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fast food

fast-food

for dinner or lunch. As we all know that

Linking Words

this kind

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these kinds

show examples

dishes

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dish

show examples

(pizza, burgers)

contain

Correct subject-verb agreement

contains

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high fats and

callories

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calories

that may be detrimental

for

Change preposition

show examples

our

health

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in the future.

Secondly

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, with the advance of technology in transportation and entertainment,

public

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the public

show examples

nowdays

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

tend

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tends

show examples

to have a sedentary

lifestyle

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. In the past, we used to walk or ride a bike to go to work or school. Now, with cars and public

transports

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transport

show examples

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

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more available,

people

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prefer to

used

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use

show examples

these to get around.

Furthermore

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, workers spend hours in their offices and on the weekends they like relaxing and doing their hobbies. These, make

excersicing

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exercising

seems

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seem

show examples

to be the

last

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choice. There are

sollution

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solutions

solution

that can be proposed to tackle these problems.

Firstly

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, children should be taught about

health

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problems and

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health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

Use synonyms

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

from

the

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show examples

early age, so

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

will have healthy habits when they get older.

Second,

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parents should set examples at home,

such

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as providing simple cooked meals for breakfast and dinner

instead

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of buying food from restaurants. Employers should

also

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contribute to

this

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matter by allowing the workers to have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

little time for exercising in the office.

For example

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, many government offices in Malang west-Java encourage the workers to conduct physical activities for two hours

such

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aerobic

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aerobics

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sport

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sports

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every

friday

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Friday

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morning. I think

this

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is a good example of The government's contribution to

encourge

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encourage

the public to lead an active

lifestyle

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. In conclusion, despite experts' advice to be more physically active,

people

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continue to lead

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhealthy

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lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

. These can be caused by busy schedules or

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of motivation. Some measures that can be done include education for young

people

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and

employers

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employers'

employer's

show examples

contributions.

Submitted by irarahmawati.polkesma on Wed Mar 22 2023

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

372 words

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Scientists advise people to lead a healthy lifestyle, but most people continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think it is and what can do with it

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Some people believe that it is better to have the same job throughout their life, while others think that people should change their job after some period of time. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

In many countries, young people are richer, they have not only security but also they are healthier than ever before. However, they seem unhappy. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to overcome this problem?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.