IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Risk-taking can be critical for people’s working and private lives. I believe the merits of taking chances outweigh the drawbacks.

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It is an indisputable fact that
people
Use synonyms
 should challenge their self to get the risks in their lives. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
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 statement, I totally concur and believe that
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
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 will outweigh the drawbacks.
People
Use synonyms
 create their own challenges in order to search for new opportunities. In fact, if
people
Use synonyms
 have the same situation and ordinary daily lives, they will never get out
from
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of
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 their comfort zone.
This
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also
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contribute
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contributes
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 to the lack
experience
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of experience
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 and unable to find their true self. To illustrate
this
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,
people
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 will be homeless and unemployed if they feel scared to
apply
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forapply
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 some job positions, resulting in stagnant life and
for
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in
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 the worst case is getting mental health issues.
On the other hand
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, risk-taking
also
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bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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dangers
Fix the agreement mistake
danger
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. If the probability is failed, it will bring mental health issues to humanity,
such
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 as low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety.
This
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also
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contributing
Change the form of the verb
contributes
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 to trauma,
consedering
Correct your spelling
considering
 the fact that
become
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becomes
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hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 is not pay off with the result.
For instance
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, if someone
Change the verb form
applies
show examples
apply
Add the preposition
forapply
show examples
 a scholarship,
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then
Correct word choice
and then
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 it is failed, they will be sensitive and afraid to take another chance. In my view,
people
Use synonyms
 should consider
about
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apply
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the positive and negative effects
about
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of
show examples
 their actions.
In addition
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, it is
also
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 advisable to bring the best effort and predict the worst scenario in order to manage their mental health.
To sum up
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, even though probability brings some adverse effects, the advantages surpass the drawbacks.
Furthermore
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, the dangers can be mitigated by thinking about the positive and negative impacts of the action.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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