IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Towns and cities are attractive places. Some people suggest that the government should spend money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues to make them better to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#towns #cities #places #people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues
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Some people may argue that allocating money to providing artworks
such
Linking Words
 as paintings and statues in urban
areas
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 these
places
Use synonyms
 more livable and attractive. I strongly/completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as there are many more crucial urban development aspects to consider as will be shown in
this
Linking Words
 essay. First of all, even though works of art, which can be used to decorate towns and cities, may make those
places
Use synonyms
 more pleasant to live in,
this
Linking Words
 is not one of the key aspects to consider in terms of improving urban
areas
Use synonyms
. Good public transport is the most important area to spend money on in order to improve urban
areas
Use synonyms
 to allow travel easily and fast
whereas
Linking Words
 people may be frustrated if they confront traffic congestion even in a beautifully decorated area.
Secondly
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,
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
show examples
 of green
areas
Use synonyms
 is essential as pollution continues to rise in these
areas
Use synonyms
. We need clean
places
Use synonyms
 to relax
such
Linking Words
 as parks, where there are many trees, and other
places
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 low pollution, often referred to as the lungs of a city.
In addition
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, it encourages people to improve their health through exercise in a good environment.
To conclude
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, if we consider priorities for spending money on improving urban
areas
Use synonyms
, public transport and green
areas
Use synonyms
 should be first considered over putting works of art around the towns and cities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that spending higher proportions of a town or
cities
Change noun form
city's
show examples
 budget on implementing these options will result in a greater standard of life satisfaction
as well as
Linking Words
 a healthier population.
Submitted by pt.pinyapat on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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