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Band 4

These days, it is pervasive to have people from two different generations mix in ‎the same workplace. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this ‎situation? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.‎

#people #two #generations #mix #‎the #workplace #‎situation
Nowadays,
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
 area has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two
 different
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
, but
due to
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 the offices get
two
 new
idelistic
Correct your spelling
idealistic
 thought processing
people's
Change noun form
people
show examples
.
As
Correct your spelling
A
show examples
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older person but
due to
 working in that place
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a longer period that individual has a depth
knowledge
Change preposition
of knowledge
show examples
 of
inside
Correct article usage
the inside
show examples
 and out .
While
 the new age group person has
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 innovative
idea's
Change noun form
ideas
show examples
 which can help
firm
Add an article
the firm
a firm
show examples
 to have better
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
. So
firstly
 ,I personally  think that there are advantages to 
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a
two
 different peer
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 in work the  place
Secondly
 , the older person who gave
is
Correct your spelling
his
show examples
 service
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
long
Add an article
the long
show examples
 period can give
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
guidance regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
workplace ethics which can
maintan
Correct your spelling
maintain
 the reputation of the
firm
 .
For instance
, I am working in the
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
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  real estate company of the country
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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Lodha . I am working as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 sales executive officer so , there was
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 jumbled  situation
happened
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
show examples
while
 approaching the client for the luxurious apartment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the client want the house as per the vastu shastra
while
 having
conversation
Correct article usage
the conversation
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 denied
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
we can't make any change in your apartment
due to
this
 the customer was taking the back foot to close the deal . As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
my senior authority got the conversation by my words he told me that the
firm
 can help the client and told me about the importance of
vastu
Change the capitalization
Vastu
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 shastra .
Moreover
 , my
sale's
Change noun form
sales
show examples
 manager help me and told
to
Correct pronoun usage
me to
show examples
 close the deal because
this
 can harm the reputation of the
firm
 . The manager told
that
Correct pronoun usage
us that
show examples
 we were providing the apartment
accordingly
 vastu shastra but ,
due to
 the shortage of
land
Add a comma
,land
show examples
 we have to adjust the construction .
Thirdly
 ,
this
 situation taught me that
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
 generation has a lot
deep
Change preposition
of deep
show examples
 knowledge of the
firm
 and they can guide very well .
This
conclude
Change the verb form
concludes
show examples
 me that there are
Correct your spelling
benefits
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
two
 generations to have in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
Submitted by Vandanpatel0709 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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