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Writing Samples
Band 7

There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#factors #people #workforce #money #factor
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In recent years,
money
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 seems to have a big influence in motivating people to stick to their workforce. It could be considered a controversial topic, and despite receiving
the
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apply
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little endorsement, I am certain that there are plenty of driving factors that keep workers doing their job. On one hand, limitless expenditure seems to be the most sought-after desire. Expenses have always been a distress to everybody from the blue-collar to the white-collar class. Financial management is always rigorous, and stressful since it relates to their charisma toward their family members and their sense of self-worth. Meanwhiles, before employees can concentrate on obtaining any spectacular acknowledgement at work, they must put their minds at ease by solidifying their financial foundation.
Therefore
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,
money
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 can be considered the driving factor for officers to keep up with their job properly.
On the other hand
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, the primary reason for employees staying in their workforce must be they have found satisfaction in their jobs. It is undeniable that
money
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 is vital when it can fulfil the most basic needs of humans but it is not just all that.
According to
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 Abraham’s hierarchy, with significant financial compensation, the basic necessity, safety
such
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 as medical care, a lovely house, and daily expenses can be secured.
However
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, without the universal culture of the working place, the higher levels in the hierarchy can not be easily achieved.
For example
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, job satisfaction might come from the praise of peers or supervisors, not only do the workers feel that all of their hard work is paid off but they
also
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 receive an acknowledgement for those achievements. In conclusion,
money
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 might be one of those factors which motivate employees to stick to their working place, but it is not the only element. Officers might find satisfaction regardless of huge compensation, with their sense of responsibility, the colourful culture that the workforce provided and the enjoyment of being recognized.
Submitted by hong081102 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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