IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There have been some problems with the bus service, especially its reliability, in your area over the last two weeks. Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In your letter • describe what the problems are • explain how these problems are affecting you • suggest what you would like the company to do You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...........,

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Dear Mr David, I am writing regarding the
bus
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service
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 on Line 1, particularly between Sesame Street and Elm Street. It is concerning that the
service
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 quality of Red
Bus
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 Travels in the vicinity of these locations has deteriorated over the past two weeks. The buses between these streets rarely arrive on time, and they sometimes do not stop at the
bus
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 stops. Since I solely rely on the
service
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 provided by Red
Bus
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 Travels for my transportation needs, there have been multiple days when I was late for work or missed important appointments and meetings. I believe many other riders face similar issues
due to
Linking Words
 the declining
service
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 levels provided by your company. I request
you
Correct word choice
that you
show examples
to
Wrong verb form
apply
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resolve
this
Linking Words
 matter by conducting regular meetings with your drivers to check in with them
apart
Punctuation problem
, apart
show examples
 from monitoring their routes at regular intervals. Building a system which involves the
bus
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 drivers updating the progress on the routes assigned to them
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 might be helpful. I hope you look into
this
Linking Words
 matter as soon as possible. Best regards, Krithi Santosh

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coherence cohesion
Say one clear problem in each part. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
task achievement
Add one short detail about how often the bus is late or does not stop. This will make your answer more complete.
task achievement
Your ideas are good, but one line about what exact action you want first would make the end stronger.
task achievement
You answer all parts of the task clearly.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
task achievement
Your tone is polite and right for a letter to a manager.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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