IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates three different kind of crimes that occurred in Newport city centre between 2003 and 2012.

The line graph illustrates three different kind of crimes that occurred in Newport city centre between 2003 and 2012.
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The line graph gives information about three
difference
Replace the word
different
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kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of murder that
happen
Change the verb form
happens
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 in Newport city
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 from 2003 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the incidents
is
Change the verb form
are
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high
level
Use synonyms
 in Newport city
also
Linking Words
, during a
period
Use synonyms
 of time
burglary
Use synonyms
has
Correct your spelling
as
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 a main
crime
Use synonyms
. The
crime
Use synonyms
 rates have
big
Correct article usage
a big
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 portion all
years
Use synonyms
 that situation
is relate
Change the verb form
is related
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with
Change preposition
to
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economy
Add an article
the economy
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. These days developing countries and
low budget
Add a hyphen
low-budget
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 states have
enormously
Add an article
an enormously
the enormously
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 criminal
Use synonyms
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many governments
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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struggle
that
Change preposition
with that
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 tendency
for
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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reason they have
responsible
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responded
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 in front of
Add an article
the human
a human
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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. On the one hand, in 2003
the
Correct article usage
apply
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burglary
Use synonyms
 and
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 are more
superiority
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superior
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than
Change preposition
to
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 robbery. In the
mean
Correct your spelling
meantime
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time
Add a comma
,time
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 the
burglary
Use synonyms
 number is just under 3500 but
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 is just above 2500.
Also
Linking Words
, next a
period
Use synonyms
 of time
burglary
Use synonyms
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 sudden increase reached a peak
3600
Change preposition
of 3600
show examples
 in 2004.
Another times
Replace the adjective
Another time
Other times
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 the
burglary
Use synonyms
 have a substantial decline till 2008.
The
Change preposition
During the
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 four
years
Use synonyms
 of
period
Use synonyms
 that
crime
Use synonyms
 fluctuate between 2008 and 2012
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 is a remain stable until 2005
while
Linking Words
, the
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gradual growth until 2010
then
Linking Words
 change
level
Use synonyms
 and
gentle
Change the word
gently
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 fall hit a low.
Nvertheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
 the robbery
crime
Use synonyms
 is
same
Change the article
the same
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level
Use synonyms
nine
Change preposition
for nine
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years
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
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 but that
years
Use synonyms
 the violation of the law
fluctuate
Correct subject-verb agreement
fluctuates
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 from 2003 to 2012.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words level, period, burglary, crime, years, car, theft with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuate" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recorded
  • trends
  • criminal activity
  • categories
  • theft
  • assault
  • vandalism
  • graph
  • x-axis
  • y-axis
  • number of crimes
  • visual representation
  • changes
  • crime rates
  • fluctuating pattern
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