Some people feels that entertainer such as film stars, pop musicians or sports starts are paid too much money. 1. Do you agree or disagree. 2.Which other types of jobs should be highly paid.

#people #entertainer #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #jobs

My self Ankit

sahu

Change the capitalization

Sahu

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I belong to India .I live in Bhilai in the state of Chhattisgarh in a family

home

along with

my parents.My

home

town

is very small.

However

, my

home

town

is famous for the BSP which is Asia's largest steel plant.My

home

town

is very near to my village and we went our

home

town

very frequently,usually every weekend and

thus

I have an unbreakable bond with my

home

town

Moreover

, the food and agriculture sectors are very important

for

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show examples

me since my childhood because most of the revenue in the family comes from

these sector

Change the determiner

this sector

these sectors

show examples

. In fact, we have a lot of cattle in my

home

and

due to

this

Add a comma

,this

show examples

I was very fascinated with the dairy sector .

due to

all these , a fact I decided to pursue my education after the completion of the 12th class in the field of the dairy sector and I decided to choose the Dairy technology course. I was very satisfied with my decision because in the whole course

Change preposition

apply

show examples

4 ,year I not only understand and grab knowledge of classroom theoretical parts but

also

aids to learn a lot of practical knowledge. Well,

Submitted by anksah2000 on Thu Mar 23 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

195 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feels that entertainer such as film stars, pop musicians or sports starts are paid too much money. 1. Do you agree or disagree. 2.Which other types of jobs should be highly paid.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some People say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphone. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development

today more and more people want things instantly. Why is this? is it a positive or negative development?

Some people consider that governments spend money on the art. Advantages and Disadvantages?

It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?