government investment in the arts , such as music and theatre , is waste of money . governments must invest this money in public services instead . do you agree or disagree ?

in
this
present world,
investment
is the main language of
government
to support any project . despite that arts ,
music
and theatre are among many projects that can be enjoyed by
government
investment
. it is agreed that
government
should invest more in public
services
. analysing the capability of the discipline of
government
to invest in improving public
services
,
as well as
the limitation in investing in arts and
music
.
firstly
,
government
investment
is one of the strongest entities to fund projects . for ,instance investing in public
services
may cause
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
be a developed country . for ,example investing in the educational sector leads to focusing on children to be smarter and
intelligent
Correct quantifier usage
more intelligent
show examples
by helping the deserved poor children by giving them
free
Add an article
a free
show examples
paid
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university and giving them free transportations fees to be easy for them to transported easily
due to
their college period and if they become superiority in their career the
government
can choose most of them to train with and to increase their self-esteem.
secondly
, the
government
should look up for
transportation
and the road 50 % of
people
use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transportation
every day in the morning and in the evening .
therefore
the
government
should look up to the buses stations and trains to provide their
people
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
good quality transport to help them during their day by setting new tracks roads for the buses and updating the train stops and setting new trains with higher qualifications causes trains are one of the most used transport .
although
health
is as important as education and transport , the
government
need to invest more in the
health
sector by looking for investing in hospitals and updating
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
to have higher qualifications of doctors , nursing and medicine . to provide good
health
for each person in the country .
although
investing in art ,
music
and theatre can be important not as much as the education ,
health
and
transportation
sectors the
government
should focus on more . to summarise ,
investment
in
music
, arts and theatre is not as necessary as that the
government
invest their funds in their public
services
.
government
investment
should be gone to what it really
deserve
Correct subject-verb agreement
deserves
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to be .
therefore
the
investment
should be in education ,
health
and
transportation
because it serves mostly
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public
people
.
government
investment
discipline
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
services
will develop the country and help
people
.
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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