government investment in the arts , such as music and theatre , is waste of money . governments must invest this money in public services instead . do you agree or disagree ?
in
this
present world, investment
is the main language of government
to support any project . despite that arts , music
and theatre are among many projects that can be enjoyed by government
investment
. it is agreed that government
should invest more in public services
. analysing the capability of the discipline of government
to invest in improving public services
, as well as
the limitation in investing in arts and music
.
firstly
, government
investment
is one of the strongest entities to fund projects . for ,instance investing in public services
may cause to
be a developed country . for ,example investing in the educational sector leads to focusing on children to be smarter and Correct pronoun usage
it to
intelligent
by helping the deserved poor children by giving them Correct quantifier usage
more intelligent
free
paid Add an article
a free
scholarship
to Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
the
university and giving them free transportations fees to be easy for them to transported easily Correct article usage
apply
due to
their college period and if they become superiority in their career the government
can choose most of them to train with and to increase their self-esteem.
secondly
, the government
should look up for transportation
and the road 50 % of people
use the
public Correct article usage
apply
transportation
every day in the morning and in the evening . therefore
the government
should look up to the buses stations and trains to provide their people
a
good quality transport to help them during their day by setting new tracks roads for the buses and updating the train stops and setting new trains with higher qualifications causes trains are one of the most used transport . Add the preposition
with a
although
health
is as important as education and transport , the government
need to invest more in the health
sector by looking for investing in hospitals and updating it
to have higher qualifications of doctors , nursing and medicine . to provide good Correct pronoun usage
them
health
for each person in the country . although
investing in art , music
and theatre can be important not as much as the education , health
and transportation
sectors the government
should focus on more .
to summarise , investment
in music
, arts and theatre is not as necessary as that the government
invest their funds in their public services
. government
investment
should be gone to what it really deserve
Correct subject-verb agreement
deserves
it
to be . Correct pronoun usage
apply
therefore
the investment
should be in education , health
and transportation
because it serves mostly for
public Change preposition
apply
people
. government
investment
discipline to
Change preposition
in
the
public Correct article usage
apply
services
will develop the country and help people
.Submitted by hayawaleed24911 on
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
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- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.