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Band 5.5

Some believe that it is beneficial to show foreign films while others feel this can have a negative empact on local culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #show #films #empact #culture
Some believe that it is beneficial to show foreign
films
while
 others feel
this
 can have a negative impact on local culture.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
people
 should choose positive foreign
movies
 to watch and
also
 watch
films
 from their own
country
 to develop a sense of the
country
's identity. on the one hand,
people
 who watch foreign
movies
 can take some advantages.
people
Capitalize word
People
show examples
 can know about other countries' features, especially for
people
 who are studying foreign languages,it is a good way for them to learn the pronunciation and
also
 they can know about some idioms,it can help them to develop,and inform a foreign circumstance to study,
moreover
,it
also
 can give domestic
people
 to understand the foreign
country
.
finally
, it can promote cultural relationships with other foreign countries. one the other hand, watching foreign
movies
 blindly ,
also
 leads some backward.
for example
 ,if teenagers watch foreign
films
 without their parents' regulation,they may choose violent
films
 to watch young
people
 are very easily influenced by what they constantly hear and see,and they can imitate
this
 behaviour for negative
movies
, which is bad for them.
however
,
people
 need to watch
movies
 from their own
country
, especially the theme related to history,because it can help them to know more about their
country
 meanwhile,it can enhance domestic residents' sense of national identity.
furthermore
 ,when
people
 watch foreign
movies
,they need to choose a positive theme to watch. in conclusion, I think
people
 should choose positive foreign
movies
 to watch and
also
 watch
films
 from their own
country
 to develop a sense of the
country
's identity.
Submitted by 992127079 on

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task response
Improve the organization of your essay to have clearer structure and stick closely to the prompt. Provide more relevant and detailed examples. Strive for a balanced argument and express your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction is present but needs to be more focused. Try to use linking words and phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear topic and connects logically to the next.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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