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Writing Samples
Band 4

Teaching financial education at secondary school is the best way to help children understand the increasingly complex financial world we live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree What other measures do you think might be effective

#education #school #children #world #measures
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It is true that financial education is significantly important at school to make
children
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 understand the value of
money
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.
However
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, I partly disagree with the idea that we should take
this
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 subject
to
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into
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 the curriculum at secondary school. In my opinion,
children
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 are not mature enough to get so much knowledge of complex financial issues
on
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at
show examples
this
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 age.
Although
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 financial subjects are really helpful for
children
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 to control their budget in the future, it is not suitable to obligate secondary students to study
this
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 subject because of some reasons which are related to studious pressure and mental development. With regard to the pressure, there are so many subjects nowadays in the secondary program. They have to study about 8 to 10 majors
such
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 as literacy, mathematics, history, biology, foreign language, etc and it is considerably stressful to pass all final exams.
Therefore
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, we should not make our
children
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 more nervous. As far as mental development is concerned,
in
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at
show examples
this
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 age,
children
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 need to be comfortable to study and entertain without worrying about any
economical
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economic
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problems. They are rewarding to enjoy their leisure time with friends,
sibling
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siblings
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, and
cousin
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cousins
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 to develop a close-knit relationship in their family and
funny
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a funny
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 childhood
instead
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 of thinking so much about
money
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. Some researchers indicated that
children
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 who contacted
money
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 too early became more selfish and practical easily. I think parents should be
a
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apply
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good
teacher
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teachers
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 for
children
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 in financial education
on
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at
show examples
this
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 stage because they are
closest
Correct article usage
the closest
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 people to their
children
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. They can show
children
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 how they control living expenses in a family and why they should save
money
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 for more important targets. They can
also
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 help
children
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 save
money
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 for their
favorites
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favourites
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.
For example
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, if a child wants to buy a toy, he should make a saving
during
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in
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 a short time from the budget that the parents give them every day. I believed that they would be so happy after having enough
money
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 for that toy. Throughout a real situation,
children
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 would treasure things that they buy and appreciate highly the value of
money
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. In conclusion,
children
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are deserved
Wrong verb form
deserve
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 to have a joyful childhood when they are in secondary school and their parents will step by step help them understand how to control financial issues in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by uskanovjavokhir07 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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