IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write about the following topic: In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 support the idea of big
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 expanding new railroads for
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
 trains between cities.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some argue it should be
fund
Wrong verb form
funded
show examples
 to improve the existing transportation
system
Use synonyms
. If we use an example from
developing
Correct article usage
a developing
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 like Thailand, improving
original
Correct article usage
the original
show examples
 commune
system
Use synonyms
 is a better solution. In many developed countries,
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
train
Use synonyms
 is
alredy
Correct your spelling
already
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily transportation
tools
Correct the article-noun agreement
tool
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, Japanese
people
Use synonyms
 took
Shinkanzen
Correct your spelling
Shinkansen
, known as
bullet
Add an article
the bullet
a bullet
show examples
train
Use synonyms
, to work daily. Because developed countries already have efficient public transport systems, expanding new
route
Fix the agreement mistake
routes
show examples
 for fast trains became their current goal.
In contrast
Linking Words
, if we turn our focus to
developing
Add an article
a developing
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as Thailand,
you
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 will see a huge
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
. Facing unpleasant traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
, Thai
people
Use synonyms
 really hope to reduce time spent on the road as much as possible.
However
Linking Words
, Bangkok's subway or
above ground
Add a hyphen
above-ground
show examples
train
Use synonyms
 is not yet well developed,
thus
Linking Words
, office workers choose to commute using private vehicles. From a developing
country
Use synonyms
 perspective, by increasing the number of routes and stations, commuters can travel conveniently. Because the
original
Change the adjective
originally
show examples
 constructed routes are already based on
people
Use synonyms
's
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
, the government should pay for additional
train
Use synonyms
 route constructions,
extended
Wrong verb form
extend
show examples
 from the main one, and strengthen the
existed
Replace the word
existing
show examples
system
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the blue subway line in Bangkok is convenient for workers who work in the downtown area, but in convenient for employees working in the
suburb
Replace the word
suburban
show examples
 area,
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 there is no subway line. In conclusion, the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of funding depends on the situation of that
country
Use synonyms
. If it is a
well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed
show examples
country
Use synonyms
, expanding
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
route
Fix the agreement mistake
routes
show examples
 is better.
However
Linking Words
, if it is an under-developing
country
Use synonyms
, strengthen existed transportation
Use synonyms
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 must be
prioritize
Wrong verb form
prioritised
show examples
.
Submitted by purita.w on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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